I'm trying hard to move forward. I'm on a dating site now, but I've only responded to one person, out of many emails. I'm not really ready to date but I need something/one to think about. I'm taking Baby Steps because I've been hurt BADLY and my trust in people, in general is gone. I take my meds, pray, LISTEN TO SERMONS and keep telling myself "I'm Okay, I'm Okay, I'm Just Fine, you fade away and hardly cross my mind, my memories comfort me" about Mr CPTSD. It snowed for the first time this winter in my state and I lost power for a few hours. I had candles and a flashlight but it made me realize how alone I am. I'm suppose to have therapy today for the first time in month. I hope it doesn't get canceled due to the weather. I'm not going to take my second Wellbutrin pill so I can just show real honest emotion today. I need to tell my T the whole ugly truth about "Me" and my PAIN so she can see that I'm Not Okay. Just Moving FORWARD!! I HATE YOU PTSD!!