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What Made You Angry Today?

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The changes in habits I have had to make with my CBT therapy and the yucky things I am being forced to confront. My therapist asked me to write letters to family members, starting with the least difficult and I instinctively starting writing one to my mother - the most difficult and heartbreaking relationship of my life.
 
Reading the news today made me angry. Watching the world be twisted closer and closer towards global facism while the corporate elite behind it all smugly hide in plain sight makes me so mad. Makes me even more determined to work towards setting up a fully self-sufficient survivalist homestead, as off-the-grid as possible.

(Reading the news always makes me angry. Haha.)
 
This messed up sleep makes me angry. Every other day, I can't sleep during the day OR the nigt, and now if I write here it is a huge jumble of letters that nobody can read, including me! It took me an hour to write this much because I fall asleep and then I have to fix it. It is genuinely narcolepsy, and scary. I'm going to get some sleep now!
 
For the past two days I've had a recurrence of the pain in my shoulder. My physical therapist came today, and said I have re-injured it by working it so much. So no working it for four days, then going back to doing what I did before for 3 days, then doing a different type of exercise that is not so strenuous. sigh. Here we go again. Lots of Ibuprofen and ice packs again.
 
I'm angry and bitter. REALLY pissed off at so many people who I was there for, then just couldn't be there for me.

Especially the shrink I saw for almost 10 years. He just watched me go down the toilet, then when I no longer had a job, or insurance, or the ability to pay any more, didn't have time for me.

Message for shrinks: when a patient tells you that they are doing worse, and that their anxiety is so out of control that they tell you it's cruel to make them suffer like that, listen to them.

If their boss tells them to get mental health care, and you're already seeing them twice a week, and their boss wants them to resign, use your brain and take that moment to consider that maybe that is the perfect time to have them take a medical leave and apply for disability...instead of seeing how much more a person can take before they turn to taking Percocet just to be able to survive at work.

And then you still have a chance here - if that does happen, don't push them back to work to see if they can take just a little more...and again...and again...until they have lost everything of value to them.

If someone who was never an addict before is under your care, and suddenly starts to take a drug just to survive, you need to step back and look at how you're treatment is failing. It's not the time to begin the "tough love" BS.
Any shrink who treats their patient like that should retire. And be sued for malpractice. And go to hell.
 
That our bank account was messed up again. I checked it this morning and everything seemed fine, it even showed a large check was paid. It did not show my account in the negative. By this afternoon it said that that same check bounced and my account was in the negative. I've got to get better control of my finances. This is way too stressful!
 
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