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What Made You Angry Today?

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With a local merchant. On Thursday I bought a sweater online, of which I had an additional 30% off my order. Friday I received a coupon from them for an additional 20% off of sweaters. I called to get my adjustment on my previous order. Which their site says they do, and I know them to do in stores because I use to work in that department at the store. They couldn't do it. So I wrote in an complained. First I get an email that they will apply it. Then I get an email that says that they can't do both coupons, which, since I didn't wait for them and reordered the sweater, realize they can do since I just did it. Then I get an email that says I bought the sweater the previous day and the coupon was only good friday. Which is why they have adjustments in the first place! Just crazy.

Needless to say, I rebought the sweater with the two coupon codes and free shipping. I will return it with the previous sweater's receipt. There done. Just a pain, but a $6 savings is worth it to me.
 
The women who got out of her car, knocked on my window(after honking at me endlessly) and chewed me out for not running a red light through a crazy ass busy intersection that had a left turn YEILD to ONCOMING traffic. And I was YEILDING to the endless line of cars that had the right of way!!!

Grr....I hope she gets an itchy ass rash.....
 
The fact that I can't just run away from society and live on my own on an abandoned island. I fail miserably when I try and do things 'by the book' to improve my life, and of course they all want to pin the blame on me. The human race has rendered me absolutely paralyzed. All these worthless subhuman c*nts in my life have made it their life's mission to make every waking moment a nightmare. Humanity is nothing but a mass of 7 billion maggots writhing in a worldwide landfill of excrement. I wish I could just walk to some uninhabited area, lay under a tree, and leave myself to the vultures. At least they won't scream about how I deserve to be lynched for "loving shit on my dick" (like my mother so eloquently told me all my youth).
 
So apparently my very identity, a sacred component of who I am, something I had no control over forming and wouldn't want to change, is a crime against nature. Apparently I deserve to burn in Hell for all eternity and be laughed at by God and all His angels just because I f*cking exist. The heinous pieces of filth who have this ideology - who believe that it is their divine mission to dehumanize others for things beyond their control - I pray that they are the ones who are damned.
 
I'm angry at myself. I'm in a lot of pain and I was yesterday too. I couldn't walk without my cane or without help or without holding on to a wall and my dad offered to take me to the emergency room. I said no because I know there isn't much they can do for my chronic pain and a flare up there. And today we're supposed to go to my daughter's boyfriend's family's house 2 and a half hours away.

And even though my daughter understands my pain I'm caving in and making myself go knowing the ride there and then back again will be very hard and painful. I'm forcing myself because of how guilty I'll feel if I don't go.

The other day before my pain flared up this bad when I told my dad I was anxious about going he said "you wouldn't do that for your daughter?". And then yesterday when I told my dad I didn't know if I could go now that my pain flared up so bad. And he made some comments and I could see the look on his face that looked a lot like I "should" go.

And my daughter mentioned to her boyfriend everyone would go but she wasn't sure about me. He took it personally and now thinks I don't want to meet him.

So I'm caving in and I'm going because I feel so guilty if I don't go. And that makes me angry at myself. I know what I need today and it's rest and self care and I'm pushing myself for everyone else because I know they want and need me to.

And it makes me angry that it's ok with others that I hurt myself to meet their needs. Because I guess everyone else's needs and feelings are more important than mine. That's probably a distortion and I'm probably feeling sorry for myself but that's where I'm at today.
 
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