I got pissed and really upset with a friend today. Something had been growing over the last several times I'd seen him, where he basically has been a stick in the mud, really mopey and distracted, but if I ever ask him what's going on he gets all weird and says stuff like "Oh don't worry about it, I'm just being spiritually persecuted. You wouldn't understand." I've tried increasingly to tell him, okay, could you maybe help me understand OR stop being such a pain in the ass to be around? I tried nicely but today I just got agitated and was saying, look, you're not paying attention to anything I'm telling you, and you won't tell me what's on your mind, but clearly something is eating at you. He eventually starts telling me (not for first time) how his parents are experimenting on him, have been his whole life, he suspects it is a government thing. If I in *any way* try to challenge these assertions by simply asking ok, what reasons do you have to think this? he flips out and says he knew I wouldn't believe him and this is why he can't share with me. So I'm the bad guy for not instantly validating delusional psychosis. Anyway it finally boiled over and I got into an activated state, got angry and was saying he's being totally irrational and unfair. We cut short our plans to hang out. I ended up feeling crappy about him and about me, wondering if I can maintain this friendship (outside these beliefs he has, he's been a good friend in other ways).
Also I'm angry that I can't even write about getting angry without feeling ashamed of it, but I still feel pissed too at this friend's perspective. I feel like I've lost another friend to his own inexplicable issues. Grrrrrrr.
