What Makes You Angry Today?

[atilla]

I want to throw a jar of hornets at my supervisor.

Shit filled balloons are much more fun Raven..lol

 

[holdenmonty]

So here is what pisses me off. Being put off like I don't f*cking matter. Last week I got a call saying they had to reschedule my appointment with my therapist. I was a bit pissed about that but whatever I'm over it for the most part. But what has me pissed off on top of that. So there is some stupid bullshit with my root canal... They started it the end of December and for some stupid ass reason they do it in two parts and they were suppose to finish it today at 0830 but we got about 4 inches of snow overnight and had a two hour delay so nothing opened until 0930. So they canceled my appointment and the soonest they could reschedule is the 22nd of January... So I have had this stupid temporary filling since the end of December which I have to be careful not to eat anything super sticky so I don't rip it out but now its getting to the point where there isn't much left and now I will have to wait another 10 days for them to finish my root canal... but I tell you what if I get any pain from that tooth I'm going to call them and tell them to finish that shit instead of making me wait. I f*cking hate how when they need you to do something it's always they needed it done yesterday but when you need something they take their sweet ass time. Sounds like the same shit you guys had to deal with... f*cking government health care. You get shit for health care and in the civilian sector you have to pay out the nose for half decent care. I'm convinced they just want people to start dying sooner and sooner so they can make more money and not have to pay as much for health care.

 

[Friday]

I have no f*cking patience. I knew blowing all my money on attorneys was going to set me back months. So here we are at square 1, and I'm kicking over it. Whiny little bitch. Poor you. I know my doc likes mouthy perky little girls, the surprise librarian type, and there was no way in hell I was getting dressed up today. It's f*cking eyeliner & a pencil skirt, and my usual charming disposition, and I couldn't bring myself to do it because I can't stand f*cking games. Not even the "this is what normal looks like" dress for success f*cking bullshit. For my f*cking meds. So 2 more weeks without them, probably longer. Cause if I can't play the game in 2 weeks I'm gonna get pulled off. Already missed 2 appointments, now, 3rd strike is out. Assuming they don't pull me anyways. f*cking Christ, Friday, it's not that damn hard. I'm staying with family at the moment, and now they want me to ask their goddamn permission before I leave the house. (Verbatim: you need to ask permission before...) Can I do that simple little thing? f*ck no. Of course not. I follow every rule as pertains to them & their lives, I pay the damn utilities bill 5 times over and freeze my ass of because it's "their" thermostat... But don't f*cking start playing control games over what I do with time. So here I burn. All end of the world shit as if in a few months things won't be cake. I can do a few months standing on my damn head usually. Had things a thousand times worse and don't even blink. But all these petty ass day to day problems come up and I'm half packed for the damn Yukon to get away. No f*cking patience.

 

[holdenmonty]

You know I was just thinking how f*cked up it is that we can usually manage to deal with big shit going on but little stupid shit that piles up is what usually bugs the hell out of us the most. I was kind of thinking of real bull fights where with each pass that the bull makes they throw a prod into the bull until the bull eventually dies. It's like cut me once but leave me the hell alone but all the little things are like a prod each time and they just pile up and drive us nuts.

 

[Grizzly]

I'm angry because I can't be like others. I want to be part of the sheeple. I want to be oblivious to my surroundings. I feel ridiculous that I'm always doing threat assessments. Its unnecessary. But it's a compulsion. To not do it makes me feel weak.

I'm angry cause I refuse to allow emotion to show. And it builds and eats away at my soul. I've lost people in my life recently. I won't deal with I may as well hand the beast a prime piece of red meat. I feel him clawing. Evicerating me right now. He's laughing.

What type of time bomb am I making myself into?

 

[OldDoorGunner]

Threat Assessments...........Here is something I tried and for me it worked, it cut the work load down by 75%. I had a talk with my self about this. I asked what are any Threats to me that my training can not deal with on the spot? So I wrote them down over a week or so and had about 5 pages......Then I ranked them from 1 being light to 10 being dangerous. I than looked at my training for all of them, that change my list to everything above 8 as something I should keep an eye on for just a bit, to see if it was a real threat or not. Knowing if it was real, my training would take over and removed the threat or I could disengage myself and or with the wife and kid. Since I have been learning to do this for about 2 years (yes you have to learn it) I have to laugh at myself, as I have counted 100's of 8's, 9's and 10's that turned into nothing. That helps you to learn and understand!!!....Do I still do Threat Assessments? Yes, but I have learned to change their parameters........I do not think I could ever learn to not do them, it's in our training....You will at times get the shit scared out of you. Some little old lady drops a box from a shelf and it hits the floor somewhat loud.....Let's kill the little old lady!!!! NOT :) Hopefully you get the idea.....Loud noise (out of nowhere) is hard to deal with, even when you tell yourself it's going to happen from time to time.

J R

 

[Grizzly]

Threat Assessments...........Here is something I tried and for me it worked, it cut the work load down by 75%. I had a talk with my self about this. I asked what are any Threats to me that my training can not deal with on the spot? So I wrote them down over a week or so and had about 5 pages......Then I ranked them from 1 being light to 10 being dangerous. I than looked at my training for all of them, that change my list to everything above 8 as something I should keep an eye on for just a bit, to see if it was a real threat or not. Knowing if it was real, my training would take over and removed the threat or I could disengage myself and or with the wife and kid. Since I have been learning to do this for about 2 years (yes you have to learn it) I have to laugh at myself, as I have counted 100's of 8's, 9's and 10's that turned into nothing. That helps you to learn and understand!!!....Do I still do Threat Assessments? Yes, but I have learned to change their parameters........I do not think I could ever learn to not do them, it's in our training....You will at times get the shit scared out of you. Some little old lady drops a box from a shelf and it hits the floor somewhat loud.....Let's kill the little old lady!!!! NOT :) Hopefully you get the idea.....Loud noise (out of nowhere) is hard to deal with, even when you tell yourself it's going to happen from time to time.

J R

sounds easy. Sometimes it works. Seems I keep finding more things to be alert about. I really need to find a "don't give a shit" pill.

 

[Lurch]

That my wife told me last night that I was too scared to do things...

I was too scared to go back to school

I was too scared to work outside the military

I was too scared to go to the movie theater.

 

[Grizzly]

@Lurch
I don't think it's about being scared. I never really feel afraid. I think it's more about avoiding these things we know cause extreme stress.

 

[holdenmonty]

I feel you guys there. My supervisor has been asking me questions about anything and everything that I'm involved with no matter how small and it's really starting to piss me off. I have explained to her my issues hoping that she would help a little with not doing shit to piss me off but today I feel almost like she's trying to see if I will blow up at her. But I can't since she's my supervisor. And all these damn phones ringing at everybody's desks. About half the people are gone to lunch already and I swear there has been at least one phone that has run for the last 20 minutes, and I don't answer them because they have voicemail that they check and I would be answering phones instead of what I need to do. I just took a break to vent and now I'm going to go for a short walk.

 

[holdenmonty]

man f*cking f*ck shit damn ass f*ck shit damn son of a bitch. Now I feel a little better... I swear today is just in the shitter... I was about to put on my jacket to go to lunch and got pulled right back in to get two tasks done before noon... and now that they are done more shit landed on me... looks like my stash that I keep in my drawer will be my lunch today... being prepared helps from time to time. I'm so glad I have my stash of snacks

 

[RTO]

Whenever something happens where I feel I am being treated as expendable(real or imagined)...my co-workers say my eyes start to dance in my head like two BB's in a saucer.