What Makes You Angry Today?

[combatgoldfish]

Pride, respect, and hell.... even morals are hard to come by these days. It's f*cked up and sad. I just want to back to war. It's f*cked up but more simplified than all this bs civilian lifestyle.

 

[tho9900]

ya I have walked up to more than one sailor or Marine... asked them why the f*ck they don't have their cover on, would they get away with that on base...

I hate to see them in uniform when they don't need to be just so they can get freebies from the guilty public who are still trying to make up for Vietnam.. "patriots" my ass...

Imma stop there... not that I am on a rant but my list could go on.. maybe I don't wanna go back to war... lol ok ya I do sometimes.. but life in the military WAS so much easier as CG said... wake up, shit shower and shave, put on your uniform and go to work.. come home, take it off, go do whatever.... rinse and repeat...

 

[Lee C]

And then life changes, only time i go into camp is to see my shrink. I tried highlighting the fact on my Medical board that " I could still do all those tests" where as most the camp are, got to be politically correct, no wait f*cking useless, my unit is on Op's at the mo and TBH im sick of putting facebook on just to see some of the f*cking useless lot taking photos saying its " what am i going to do today" cheeky f*ckers try that with 40Kg and try to dodge bullets, rant over, just reminded me i forgot my tablets thats why my hands are shaking:rolleyes:
P.S For those that work the other side of the wire, your job is important, if not, more important cos without that link we wouldnt(they, im unfit for suty apparently) be able to function and who wouldnt put us back together again when we break, full stop ;)

 

[combatgoldfish]

My rant of the day.....

I wrote two papers at the college today. I'm mental exhausted and annoyed with everything. I barely spoke to anyone today.

My good friend and his girl friend continue to break up, feels like they do everyday. Both of them text me to vent. Its hard to take them seriously anymore. And my lack of empathy doesn't make me the best person for relationship advice.

I have a class that is very educational. A large range of topics and information condensed to 3 hours once a week. This kid sits next to me that falls asleep dying class. One of my biggest pet peeves when I was in the military was people falling asleep during briefings, training, etc. It makes me f*cking livid. I realize I'm in a civilian environment, so, I refrain from screaming at him, or slamming my hands on the desk and scaring the shit out the rest of the class.

I finally lost it this afternoon. I kicked the desk, knocking stuff off the desk, and the kid certainly wasn't happy with me. And I know when he looked up to glare at me, he saw how angry I was. He didn't look in my direction for the remainder of the class. I'm still pissed and it's been several hours later.

After that class, I left to the pub to write my 2nd paper of the day. (I didn't drink.) I wrote it all out by hand, left to the library to type it out, and when I tried to submit it, the whole computer system went down. Thankfully I printed it out, but ended up late for class. I'm never late. I'm always early. Just that in itself made me feel like a shit sandwich for the rest of the evening /

 

[Lee C]

Sounds like you had a lot to take in m8. As for your friends explain,if you can, whats going on. IF they dont want to listen there not REALLY friends mate. Im studying at the moment and im the same as you mate, mentally bolloxed and im not good around people at all. I personally think your doing a good job by taking so much on. Not all civilians are bad, again im guessing but when i boil up, just walk away ( It takes more to do the latter).If you can come on here and rant, people will listen and give advice where necessary.More advice to follow im sure:)

 

[arwarfighter]

I went to college for semester, but I couldn't take it. All those liberal f*cktards with their high ideas about what they THINK is going on "over there". (Which as far as they are concerned is the proverbial land far far away) There was a girl in one class that tried to tell ME about the war and the bad mindset that US troops had going into it. She told me I fit the profile of an "ugly American". And because I said for the most part I didn't feel bad about the lives I took she automatically put me in the babykiller section. I said Are you f*cking kidding me? I tell you what lady, when you pick up a rifle and put on some boots and walk those streets, and watch 19 year old kids beg for their mother while they are laying there bleeding from mortar shrapnel you can talk to me about "The War". And what any soldier should or shouldn't feel bad about. Until then how about you shut your dick sucker and try to learn something of the real world from those of us who have been there and not just read it in a book! I dropped out the next day. After that I knew I was just going to be "that crazy vet from Iraq" to everyone there. Oh well such is life. I hate civilians. lol

 

[Lee C]

Soldiers within the Armies recovery system, who play the system. 90% are in for being Wounded, Injured or Sick but there are soldiers that are none of the above, including vets. I did a favour and pulled a few strings cos a mate of mine was in a position to release such an item. Lets just say i got played (might be my PTSD) but i asked for a favour in return, all it was, was a photo of the completed item that had been put together for a brother that had died in action.
Before anyway says "i cant asked again" as i might hurt him ! Anyway good morning brothers, sisters and not forgetting the "BEAST "

 

[Anglesachse]

Arwarfighter Welcome to the site mate.

How about an introduction to your self. Not here but in the Introduction thread.

Link Removed

Just allways a nice to know who we are talking to.

 

[combatgoldfish]

Last night I didn't stop moving until almost midnight. I took my meds and went to bed. Three hours later, I can't fall asleep for life of me.

I got up to go to the bathroom and realized my pills were in my pocket...I never took them.

I make it to the gym, walk the dog, and go to my first class. The hottest girl in class tries her hardest to engage me in conversation I hate talking to people at school. So, that was pretty damn awkward lol.

In between classes I go to the pub to study. It's a quiet, nearly empty, and safe. I get to my next class early and while I'm sitting there I notice two things that trigger me into a rage.

1. A bug bite on my hand. Now, I can't stop itching it. (yes, this really makes me mad.)

2. A posting on the wall essentially saying "Tattoos are trashy and you'll never get a job." The image of these people with tattoos on the post are celebrities. Just that alone pisses me off. And second I have a lot of tattoos. All of which can be covered up by a dress shirt. No big deal to me. When I'm on my own time outside of a professional environment, they come out. This school must think I'm trashy and unable to get a job. Just rubs me the wrong way.

 

[Wagon]

CombatGfish

Reading this thread I can honestly say I am very happy I am not in school any more and that I actually managed to graduate.

I had PTSD in college as well. The difference being I didn't know. I was fresh out and "adjusting" whatever that means. I think my saving grace was that there were a bunch of teenage idiots running around, so a PTSD addled vet is harder to pick out of the crowd.

There is also an advantage to not being diagnosed. Hell, I'm not sure if it existed in 1990. Might of just been a syndrome of some sort then. Reason I'm saying this is that PTSD can discourage you from doing the fun things in life and even the important. I'm no expert and if anything this PTSD gig is like navigating some sort of zen minefield in hell, but I do recognize that it waves me off or discourages me from doing things that make life more fulfilling.

Everything becomes a question. Will that set me off?, Why are they talking to me? Why don't they leave me alone? Why don't they pay attention? Also it seems tolerance can take a big hike as well.

One thing that has helped me with these hmm. What do you call them? These "static triggers". (Yeah I'm making shit up now) is planning. Had a huge problem with grocery stores. From advice I got here, I started planning my trips. There are few surprises any more and I stand in the middle of the aisle blocking traffic with the best of them. Yeah sometimes I get surprised. Then I have to take a break and sit on the curb outside smoking cigarettes. But I manage it in the end. It is not the sweaty, panic stricken affair it used to be.

Maybe plan your days a bit more meticulously there CombatGFish. You know you'll see "sleepy guy" every other day. You know people will try to talk to you. Plan reactions and tactics. It's not fun or easy. But after a couple times it gets easier. After 50 or so it becomes automatic.

So tomorrow go up to the hottest girl in class and invite her to the biggest tattoo show in town. Seriously man, You are looking a gift horse in the mouth here. And if you had not been diagnosed with PTSD. I think you would have talked to her. That's why I say knowing can f things up.


Be good.
Wagon

 

[Jimmy1]

The whole not being able to sleep then finding the tablets in your pocket I can associate with. Our memory tends to fade at times with PTSD and the worst case scenario is not knowing whether you have taken them or not.
I used to have one of those dispensers for the days of the week, morning, noon, and night.

I really don't know how you can study. I just don't seem to be able to concentrate a whole lot. The welfare officers course I am doing soon only lasts a couple of days, then I have the pension officer courses. Then I will be an advocate.

The Nam Farts at the RSL only work two mornings a week for about three hours. I asked them why and they told me that reading over case files and going to court sometimes to get a veteran what he deserves takes it's toll.
So once I am qualified I will follow suite.

I don't even know what I am talking about.

I filled out the DAS Depression Anxiety and Stress test a few weeks back. My therapist told me to back off everything for a bit as my anxiety and stress levels are extreme. Screw the BEAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[tho9900]

I hate waking up and seeing yesterdays meds in the pill box still... or going to wash clothes and finding the morning 7 pills in your pocket still... and wondering which day you forgot to take..

good going Jimmy.. don't burn yourself out, and I am sure it will be emotionally trying but also rewarding... today I decided at least for the immediate future it might be therapeutic to go take come classes I want to take versus having to. Cooking classes, film genre etc...

I lay awake the other night then paced the floors.. come about 4am I remembered the Trazadone... lol.. so much for sleeping meds..