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What Makes You Angry Today?

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I tend to be more like your husband and sees red whenever anyone "cuts me off". But I like your perspective I will have to try to remember it when I'm driving.
 
I find myself looking-down on civilians. I do not like them and I do not trust them. I understand that It is also not their fault that they are how they are. I do not place myself in the category of military because I am out now. But I will not put myself In the category of a civilian. I refer to myself as a veteran..which I believe is a step-up from a civilian.
 
I always feel alone man. Grew up with alcoholic abusive parents. Bla bla bla. I thought the military would help my find myself. It only drove me deeper into this hole. My gf left me in the worst possible way. My friends abandoned me. Now I'm home with my parents again who are in their 70s. I try to help out around the house since I don't have a job but they just look at me with such disappointment. I walk miles to job interviews because they don't want to give me a ride. All while I fight the anger I have in my head. My mother said I'm using disability as a "crutch" so that I don't have to work. I'd do anything to get out of the house. I've walked up to fast food restaurants just to stare at the wall in peace until they kick me out. I over heard her on the phone saying I was "crazy and may start killing people." As if I haven't done that enough already. My father says I'm weird for sitting in the dark. If people talked to me as much as they talk about me I wouldn't feel so alone. But alone is good. no need for trust. No need for love. No reason to get angry. No need for pain that people cause. Alone feels so good.
 
Nak, bro at the least a support network is needed. Good to have you posting here.
I feel you on the not working. I beat myself up for that shit enough currently, doesn't
help getting nagged at for it. Or overloading with extra stress.

Thing is when you haven't socialized in awhile it can be awkward at start.
Soon there after you will realize it will come back naturally. May not talk about happy go lucky things like before war.
I started isolating after I literally didn't have shit to relate with civilian friends with... any time I'd try to relate I'd find myself
starting a military story... and I'd lose their interest. So I just said f*ck it, if I'll talk about anything from that I'll tell a funny story.
Or keep it to myself. People I've met through the years have come and gone as we crossed paths they enabled me to tell my story.
And get it off my chest a bit. Which I think back and am thankful for. Even though she never wanted a relationship.
What an awesome thing she did for me by letting me talk about these experiences.

I find now that it's best I take my time. And find what it is I would really enjoy doing.
It seems all my life I've been forced to do shit I didn't want to.
It's never too late to step in that VA and document what you are going through...
Don't suffer alone. Even if its just a text or a call it helps.
You can send me a message whenever to talk about whatever man.
 
I don't have a support network. I have nothing and no one. When I say I'm alone I'm not being dramatic or over exaggerating. Last year, I went with a total of 6 received phone calls in 365 days. 3 from bill collectors and 1 on my birthday. I turned my phone off this year no point in spending extra money every month. You have to ask yourself, is this all really worth it? It this point I'm just a strain on community resources. Their are younger and more noble men who deserve to be helped. People who need the VA more than I do. People who have families who need them and want them around. That also makes me angry. That I know I don't deserve the help that I'm asking for. I dont know anything to be honest I'm just kinda typing this hoping that some sense is coming out and maybe something will click in my own head. Nothing so far. It's just a mess up there.
 
You are a combat veteran... you fought over seas...
Through time you will find lil things worth sticking around for...
It doesn't make sense to you because you earned the help.
Have you heard back about your claim? Did they dismiss it or did you manage to get them to correct your service record?
 
Rant in bound... Just sayin... Im angry three generations of my parents, grand parents and great grands had PTSD and passed it all down the line. Im angry my mother was an alcoholic and my father a vet who was angry at everything. Im angry my sister was raped by her buddies in Iraq. Im angry about all the shit I saw in Iraq. Im angry I had PTSD for the last ten years, went through hell to recover and now my wife is leaving. Yep, f*cked from word go. I just wanted to get that out. Now, time to get back to figuring out living. Out.
 
Same here Nak. I don't socialize much. hell the only people i talk to are here. Anytime you want to bs hit me up too. Lol, were all alone here together Brother.
 
Internet lag at work then waiting for this big f*cking announcement that never came. Now if anything is announced tomorrow I wont f*cking believe it because it's April fools tomorrow
 
Internet lag at work then waiting for this big f*cking announcement that never came. Now if anything is announced tomorrow I wont f*cking believe it because it's April fools tomorrow
 
The f*ck face that live above me...
She came down hammering on the door as me and my girlfriend was in bed playing like frigging teenagers, you know, the kind of play fighting (Yes, we do that)
My upstairs neighbor then made accusations that I beat my girlfriend, and then I exploded... I said that she should call the cops on me next time, because if I really was a guy that did that, it would be stupid for her to go down to me and end up me jumping on her.

It actually started a couple weeks ago when they had a party till 2 at night. No problem other than they did not stop stumping the floor when I asked then nicely because my daughter could not sleep for the noise.

So I got in my war mentality the next day and picked up their smokes and cannabis leftovers from the ground beside the playground (They stand on the balcony and flicks the down on the lawn next to the playground.) and told them that I would file a complaint to the guy that owns the building, witch I did. They do this all the time, and I fear for the children might eat it.

After she had been here today, I called the police to make them open a file on me so they know that they can come any time, and that my neighbor threatened me with calling them on me....

Was this a shitty day???? Yep.

I will not speak to her unless I can tape it and if she continues to interfere and accuse me of doing this, I will think about of going to the police to open up a case of libel (I think that is what it is called...)
 
She doesn't REALLY think you beat your girlfriend, she's just trying to get into a petty slapfight with you because she's butthurt about what happened two weeks ago.
 
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