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What Makes You Angry Today?

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Well, I got f*cked today at work. I know I'd be more mad if I wasn't on all these pills.

So, they want my team to do 16hrs of extra work every month. No overtime.....
 
Apparently I lack empathy.

:poop: "My mom's in the hospital again. It's not serious."
:confused: "Too bad."
:poop: ?
:confused: "You know that I wish she'd kick the f*cking bucket already."
:poop: "Why are you being so hateful?"
:confused: "I'm not being hateful, I'm just tired of listening to you tell me about how I should mend bridges with her. If she died then you'd shut up about it. I hope she f*cking relapses."
:poop: "Blah blah you're so hateful blah blah blah."
:confused: "Your brother too. He's an asshole too. When's his heart condition gonna make him take a dirt nap? He's overdue for one."
:poop: !!!
:confused: "What? They're horrible people."
:poop: "f*ck you, I need to go to work."

He hasn't given me any good reason why I should give his family another chance. His only reason is 'because they're my family'. That's just how he knows these people, that's not a good reason.
 
He knew going into this relationship that I'm a f*cking narcissist with zero capacity for empathy and now he's all butthurt that I can't understand where he's coming from. Ever.
 
Does his mother want to buy some property from me? No. Then there's no reason I should pretend I like her. He has this vision of his whole family getting together for holidays and he won't let go of that. I told him to go drive to Michigan by himself if he wants to visit her. She wouldn't want to see me anyway. I ripped her a new one and threw a plate at the wall next to her head the last time I was there. She deserved it because she called me a Kike. At the dining room table. In front of the whole family. Hateful c*nt.

Apparently surviving cancer gives you a free pass to be an asshole to everyone. Pretty much her entire extended family avoids her like the plague because she emotionally abuses anyone who doesn't kowtow to her.
 
I've Been waking up full of anger. Been having nightmares again, night sweats. Back down to a couple hours of sleep each night for the past week. Work is good, home is good. I've tapered off on my prefered "med", just to see if its really helping or not. I wanted to get to the point that I dont have to take anything to get through the night/day, and it's looking like that aint happening at this point. It pisses me off that for me to be "normal" acting, as normal as I can be, I have to take something that alters my thoughts, and supresses my emotions. I'm not going to take these drugs that have all the negative and dangerous side effects, so I guess I'm stuck. Either nothing, or back on mj, or dont take anything and get to the point where I cant live in society anymore, be with my family anymore, or function at my job. It pisses me off these are my choices. Rant out.
 
Hey Brother... Remember. Everything is temporary. Just cause the taper is no good right now, doesn't mean that in a year or three it still will be. I have a f*cking hard time with that. Even with good years where I only need a 'back your shit down' assistance a few times a year tops under my belt, that I'm having a bad run now, makes me think I'll always be in a bad run. Nah. You just lost one of your Rakkasan bros. OOD; Cut yourself some motherf*ckin slack, for true, an go love on your gorgeous wife, and don't make this Marine have to drag ass east to come kick yours for makin shit harder on yourself. You want off the MJ? You'll get off. Just cause you're smart enough not to be stupid about it, time ain't right right now and you see that, doesn't mean that now is forever. It's all temporary.

<streeeeeetch> Know it's a rant. And know you know all of that. But since I can't crack open a beer with ya, next best thing. :)
 
Thanks Sister, just been a bad few weeks it seems. Hell you should come east anyway, re-locate, new scenery..lol...alas..we'd probably drink too much together..get into some major trouble with all the stupid sheeple round here..lol. Thanks again though. I have to keep reminding myself this shit will pass.:)
 
You know what pisses me off???..... Wait, I don't remember... OH YEA, my short term memory is absolute SHIT!

This was no shit my thought process for this post... Goddammit, how hard is it to remember the simple stuff me and the misses talked about the day before.
Also I try to get her interested in researching PTSD and what's going on with me, well that didn't exactly work. She read the two articles I sent her, and I asked her what she thought. She replied, "Your brain is broken.." REALLY??!?!?!?! She meant it as a joke, and of course I didn't appreciate it. AT ALL.. She doesn't get it and I hope she comes around because she is literally holding everything together right now...
RANT OVER.
 
A car almost ran me over today that pisses me off! I was crossing a street at a crosswalk and i waited until I got the signal to cross. You know it turns from a red hand to a white person figure and there is also a a voice that says to cross for the blind. Anyways It looked like the car was aiming for me but obviously they just were not paying attention to driving while driving. I had to run and perform some fancy moves to avoid being hit and being so pissed at the moment I did manage to spit all over the driver's side of the car and give them the finger. Everyone sitting at the light watching me cross looked like they were in shock. I just raised my arms in the air like I was in-front of an audience and said "can u believe that shit?!"
 
Not here but In other Vets groups, Vets bitchin' at each other about ratings %s. Someone asks for advice and tips of what to do and what not to do at their ptsd eval and then the whole group loses their shit. Maybe the guy is just nervous or maybe he does want to work the system. If he wants advice give it, it he Is working the system I personally don't care enough that I would fight with my fellow Vets. Feel like klunking all their heads together.
 
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