What should I expect from therapy?

[Mach123]

I'm reading a book about parts and trauma responses. It make sense that the ways we coped as kids play out in our adult self. Each of those skills we learned as kids, good or bad, are why we survived. It also can account for our "stuckness" when our adult rational self thinks we should be further along in our healing. It also talks about left brain/right brain thoughts. I can't put things in to words and I totally lose my vocabulary and how when bad things happen to kids the two sides don't integrate thus the bad memory stays stuck without integration. Then, you resort to different ways to cope with the memories in order to fulfill everyday life. It makes me feel like I am not so crazy bc I can parallel so many things with what the author writes.
You aren't failing to flourish. You haven't had help addressing the parts that haven't integrated and those young coping skills make it impossible to integrate because they are screaming "danger/danger/danger" Be kind to yourself... you are awesome!!!

I used that as an example I saw it on a poster once "do you know anyone with failure to flourish it could be trauma." I think you are right about integration it's what the therapist thinks.

 

[Deleted member 48866]

This is a big statement. I don’t doubt it, but I do wonder where the motivation comes from to attend therapy at all (maybe just wanting to get better, or life to be less awful, or...)? And if you can motivate yourself to get to the T’s office reliably, why hand over responsibility for your healing (is that the right word?) the moment the session starts?

There’s a tonne of reasons that might be. Just seems odd, in and of itself, yeah?

This touch something in me. Yes, we all show up maybe we are passive from abuse and l just hope the therapist just says to me ; "okay", "you are really screwed up ", "l don't normally do this but." And she takes out a wand and boom, l am out the door saving millions of dollars and hours. I go and wondered just how screwed up am l, and can l just get better by just listening. Deep inside of me, the child is saying you are screwed up emotionally from your crappy childhood and that's why you made poor choices in life. How can this therapist really help me?

 

[unbrokenn]

Usually they open with ‘how are you’ and you recap your week and the highs and lows.
Deconstruct moments that you were anxious, depressed, negative, etc.
if it’s trauma therapy expect to be anxious and out of your comfort zone due to exposure therapies and talking through abuse. Slowly you’ll become better with it and your symptoms will slowly get less persistent.

 

[Deleted member 48866]

l went through a really big trigger. l cried and l jourmaled. Then l was still in the situation but l was able to understand why l was so triggered. That was a giant break through. Writing down my emotions did free me and l did some constructive therapy on my own instead of self-medicating.
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[talon]

Every week it's the same thing. "how are you and what's going on?". Alot of the time we don't talk about me but about my kids or other things in my life. Is that normal or is there specific stuff I'm supposed to be doing? Am I just giving myself an excuse to quit?

Therapists are people good and bad experienced inexperienced . Maybe a different direction can be achieved by your responses as others state here. Nothing will happen unless you instigate a response . Sadly it is also true if you have to pay for your sessions some therapists will get as much as they can out of you for very little in return. We often don't want to answer difficult questions or sometimes not answer honestly because we are avoiding the fear that talking will make matters worse . No pain no gain is a phrase that can be used when we don't always want to face what we need to. Life is like a wave if you turn your back on it you will drown . You need to face head on . Write things down that you want to say if that helps as we can sometimes freeze at the moment we shouldn't . We cannot paint a picture we cannot see so your therapist needs to see and know the real you and why you are there . We all like to talk about our children our families and all the nice things we love and try and avoid those things that trouble us. That wont make it go away . Caring is sharing and likewise releasing the pressure cooker of your life will do so much good

 

[Deleted member 48866]

Therapists are people good and bad experienced inexperienced . Maybe a different direction can be achieved by your responses as others state here. Nothing will happen unless you instigate a response . Sadly it is also true if you have to pay for your sessions some therapists will get as much as they can out of you for very little in return. We often don't want to answer difficult questions or sometimes not answer honestly because we are avoiding the fear that talking will make matters worse . No pain no gain is a phrase that can be used when we don't always want to face what we need to. Life is like a wave if you turn your back on it you will drown . You need to face head on . Write things down that you want to say if that helps as we can sometimes freeze at the moment we shouldn't . We cannot paint a picture we cannot see so your therapist needs to see and know the real you and why you are there . We all like to talk about our children our families and all the nice things we love and try and avoid those things that trouble us. That wont make it go away . Caring is sharing and likewise releasing the pressure cooker of your life will do so much good

Since l have gone, l am dealing with my emotions head-on. l deal with them and have released the pressure