What things are important in trauma therapy / in the therapeutic relationship?

[Survivor3]

That's a really good question for your therapist to ask. I've been scared off by therapists in the past at times when I really needed help. Involving the patient/client in their treatment/therapy is very important.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I find persistance useful. Same therapist/psychiatrist for what, 5-6 years now, gives a tremendous grasp of progression. Or regression.

Also, allows for quite open and often very direct communication since the person has watched you for a while and sees how you behave

 

[Freemartin]

Thanks guys for contributing! My t was really moved by our joint effort! And I've def benefited from the brainstorm.
Cheers, mates!

 

[talon]

Hey guys, I wonder if you can give me a hand with this. I recently started trauma therapy with a new T after a not-so-successful attempt with a different T. This new one is just brilliant and I've made some decent progress already. I can see how this changing t's can make a world of difference.

So, today she asked me to contemplate on the question: what makes a good trauma therapy or a good therapeutic relationship. I guess she wants me to ponder on the theme in order for the both of us to get a clue on what I want and need from her and the process. Also, she is preparing her thesis on the subject and would welcome some insight. She knows I hang around on the forums with my extremely insightful colleagues, so I promised to raise the question here.

I know for me it's extremely important that I can trust my T to maintain control of the situation. I easily go down some really nasty rabbit holes when addressing trauma sh*t. So it feels awesome to be able to trust her to have my back. This is what I Iacked with my previous T, so I really see the difference.

Other stuff: it's immensely important that the T genuinely respects me. Not in a generic, benevolent-healthcare-professional way but as the real, f*cked-up and glorious person that I am.

So, this is what I managed to cook up. Let's hear your thoughts!

• How can you avoid ‘retraumatising’ the client?
  
• How do you work with the client who can’t properly remember the trauma?
  
• What do you do with the client who cannot stay present during a session?
  
• How do you deal with dependency?
  • How do you avoid traumatic reenactments within the therapy room and the therapy relationship?
    
  • What pitfalls are there in this work?
    
  • How do you look after yourself whilst working with such demanding and at times overwhelming content and trauma?
    
  • How do you deal effectively and empathically with self-harm and suicidality?
• These are a few of the guidlines for a good therapist to follow

 

[grit]

I know for me it's extremely important that I can trust my T to maintain control of the situation

Hi Freemartin, I am so happy you are in trauma therapy and I really truly hope you find the peace and healing you deserve, without knowing what you trauma is (from adulthood or childhood), I am going to say it is very high order to find a T that will maintain control of any situation or you can trust 100%. I just want to warn you that if a baby cannot have that no adult can either. Therapist is a human who has life outside of therapy and many times they will fail you - just part of life. Even the best mother must fail a baby to actually be considered a great mother. So as an adult you simply cannot give up your self-agency like that. To think you could is dangerous and set for a huge disappoinment.

As I mentioned, I find it immensely helpful to be able to trust my t to keep things safe.

Again, if a great mother cannot guarantee her gorgeous little baby will ALWAYS BE happy half maybe more than half would not be here. A therapist can do this as much as you do. No one can keep you safe. Only you can. A therapist can help you learn how to do that by being in a relationship with you BUT IF THEY PROMISE TO KEEP YOU SAFE, run for the hills you find a narcissistic one. they cannot make absolute promises. Remember they will go home to their families and do not know you or there for you then. You have to give that to them and not take it away from just like you should not give your self -agency.

She wants to activate my attachment system :)eek:)

this was the most problematic of all.
No one can activate your attachment. And for her to do that is just weird or maybe you see it that way.

Attachment in therapy comes naturally but one must feel safe to take advantage of healing in that...not necessarily be safe to attach but to gain the benefits you need to believe in the process. But for her to attempt to activate sounds manipulatio and the worst side of therapy.

Before anything you just need safe space to see yourself.

I hope this is an old post and you have passed all these and maybe they just sounded alarming to me.

A mother cannt make a baby perfect and happy and safe 24/7 100% of childhood, same is given in therapy.

In order to heal, IMHO, one must be on the edge of re-traumaization but act differently.

You give your heart to a person in a relationship...all of it, and they break your heart and not only did you survive but you grow liek a great flower. that is how therapy works. Second chance in love of the parent and you survive this one because you have been on this rodeo before, and you are adult and you know better ultimately.

the reason most people do not heal is they do not want to take that risk of getting very close to full re-traumatizaion ...and that is the conundrum....but when you get that confidence to say, I will jump in and will trust myself, then you may just find the gem waiting for you.

but understandably people do not want to get re-traumatized...and that is understandable.