What to do with anger

[Catlovers141]

Lately I have been feeling really anger about the person who sexually abused me as a child. I'm trying to find ways to express my anger. I've been really drawn to the concept of revenge, but I know logically that nothing can really feel like I've made things equal between him and me. And I don't want to stoop to his level, even by doing something legal and fairly benign. But I can't get rid of that desire to do something that affects him. Any thoughts?

 

[Katie M]

Physical activity is a healthy outlet for anger. Go for a run, take a kick boxing class, something high energy.

 

[anonymous]

Lately I have been feeling really anger about the person who sexually abused me as a child. I'm t...

You can report it so that it's on record and that's about it. I'm more angry and those who did nothing to help after the assaults than I am the perpetrator. I know the perpetrator is psychotic, but I stupidly thought the justice system operated in every state. Apparently not.

 

[Catlovers141]

You can report it so that it's on record and that's about it. I'm more angry and those who did nothin...

Would reporting it mean that I would need to go to court? I'm not too into that part of things. Partly because I agree with you that the justice system does not work well.

 

[Friday]

Dealing with anger <<< This, right here, is incredibly useful.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Flip the script and choose things that healthily enrich your life rather than focusing on trying to figure out ways to leave some kind of mark on another. The best revenge truly is a life well lived.

I used to want revenge so f'n bad, and spent much time figuring clever ways to apply it, but it only served to break me down more than ever build me up, and all of that energy was attracting more like energy, over and over and over, and I had long since exceeded my limit of being able to handle that vibe, so I had no choice but to let it go.

Physical activity as mentioned above, being sure it's something you really enjoy helps, loud favorite music, nature time, primal screaming into a pillow or in the woods, lots of deep breathing exercises, volunteer to help another (within your recognized limits - don't tap yourself dry without taking care of self first), dabble in your favorite hobbies, make something or grow something, soak in a hot bath, etc., etc. Don't let that f*cker keep having so much control over your mind space. (I know easier said than done)

 

[anonymous]

Not if you didn't want to. At least it would be on record and provide some sort of validation in case another victim reported it. The justice system seems to work better when you're legally a minor. Unless you have one hell of an attorney, because if choose to go to court, it's like being assaulted all over again I'm sure...I wouldn't allow just the states attorney, I would have my own. But, they don't usually try these cases, because it's so hard to prove.

 

[EveHarrington]

I'd wager that most cases that are reported never see the light of the courtroom.

Prosecutors need more than an accusation (in most cases) otherwise the case is (can be) very weak. Prosecutors oftentimes won't go after someone where there is little/no evidence beyond an accusation because the system is stretched extremely thin as it is.

Reporting can be good as it creates an official record and can be beneficial if others report, too as it is therefore no longer one person's word against another's.

 

[Sunshineturtle]

Journaling, drawing, painting, you don't have to be good, just enjoy it for what it is... a release. Exercise, I agree.. learn something you have wanted to learn... Just for you.. is there some activity you always wanted to learn? A language, a sport? Anything? Do It! Use that energy for that...

 

[Deadman]

While I'm an exercise or hit a punching bag kind of guy there are alternatives. Art therapy can be great for dealing with anger. I saw refugee kids tell their story on a sheet of paper even when they couldn't make the words come out.

 

[provencepearl]

Would reporting it mean that I would need to go to court? I'm not too into that part of things....

Think about the Bill Cosby situation. When women first came forward, nobody believed them. But as more women came forward, it was too much to ignore. If more women reported, there would emerge patterns of complaints against the same people. There may be others and your report added to theirs may trigger some action. We as a society need to be more supportive of women who have been sexually assaulted. And no woman should ever file a false report. That makes it so much harder for the ones who have been assaulted. You would only go to court if the local DA decided to file criminal charges and take the case to court. Doesn't happen nearly as often as it should.

I am not an expert. These are just my thoughts/impressions.