What to expect next

[Ms Priss]

I had the first appt. with trauma therapist this week. I have had therapy before but never with a trauma therapist. Wanted to give it a few days to process before posting.

The appt. was basically intake with history and all that. She said next time we could discuss three different avenues of therapy we could pursue. She said she has DBT courses also. I can financially afford the counseling but not the DBT. I could not afford to pay all the co-payments.Sometimes it feels everything is out of reach. Am trying to stay positive and hope we can accomplish something with just the therapy.

She was easy enough to talk to and seemed to understand for the time being I would prefer to not go the medication route. They have pdocs there...one who I refuse to see again and another one who she highly recommended if it is necessary.She cannot see me again until mid-September...they are overwhelmed.

All I know is I went, but I am very scared and apprehensive.

 

[EveHarrington]

Did you set up a series of appointments or just one? I doubt the load will lighten up so if you've only made one appointment then I fear you may end up in a pattern of quite a few weeks between appointments.

 

[Ms Priss]

We set two appointments. That is what she wanted to do. The 2nd appt. is 2 weeks after.

 

[Teamwork]

Because criminal injuries pays for mine I can only go every two weeks as well. Mine is really good with email though otherwise I think the two weeks would be more difficult to endure. It's places like this that are helpful in between. I don't miss reading the posts daily.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

I think it's perfectly normal to need time to process and I find there's a lot of anxiety that goes with the beginning of therapy. A lot of questions, emotions, memories stirred up etc...

I agree that it is a long time between 1st and 2nd sessions. Gives you a lot time to build up anxiety of the unknown. Continuing on a 2 week basis isn't unusual either...as long as communication of some sort is permitted.

I don't know how things work where you are but communication in between sessions would be good to establish. It is really important to set the ground rules right away.

btw: I resisted medication for a long time. When I finally decided to start it, it was my decision. Not my T.

 

[Ms Priss]

Thanks for your reply. The counselor said we would establish some ways for me to be in touch. This is a very rural area and the services are stretched pretty thin so I will have to see; I am very good about advocating for myself. I also see a life coach @ the local women's shelter. I think without her I would be dead.

I am between a rock and a hard place with finances and eligibility. I make just a little too much $ a month to be eligible for any govt. assistance but still have a limited budget so will have to work with that.

Am feeling so totally alone because I have no support family wise. Am being lambasted with flashbacks.

I have taken meds in the past, but it was not a good experience. However, I would be willing to take another look at it.

Thanks for your support!

 

[Yasmine]

I had the first appt. with trauma therapist this week. I have had therapy before but never with a tra...

I have to post this for two reasons even if I shouldn't still be online
1
I did CBT at a place that also ran DBT and had considered doing DBT after CBT because it seems to have some important life skills that help people to function better in life and I had both the time and private health to cover it
But
My impression , although limited and in only one place was the DBT therapists spoke to their clients like children and expected them to behave the same way and a few of the clients actually did but who coukd bkame them? They may have had very good reason to do this , I don't know ( although the DBT people I spoke to at break weren't like this at all)

I did get the impression that DBT made the participants believe they were somehow more flawed and different and the people seem to label themselves and be labelled in a really negative way, that wasn't helped at all by this therapy infact my impression was it seemed to reinforce this belief in BPD and CPTSD survivors , although a lady with ADHD I know did DBT and found it really useful !
( also see Psychology in Seattle on DBT - on you tube who is a practicing therapist and professor who just reinforced my observations )

And then I looked at Marsha Linahans? You tube and ( I can't even say I'm sure she's lovely ) and she's really abrasive IMO and I could not warm to her but again maybe I saw what I choose to see.

But the good news or I hope it is ( and sorry you'll have to do a google search for it ) there is a free DBT online course you can sign up for ( the option I took given my biases and and this was about three years ago but I think its still there ) while its not the same as group therapy or as supportive you may find , together with your other therapy it maybe helpful. I found it was for me although my attention span wasn't great then and my attention to detail still isn't.

You can still learn the skills and apply them if you feel you have the ability right now to do this yourself. Obviously having other therapy while doing it may help

If you can't access this recourse in the country you currently live in I'm sure a" blocker app thingie " would make it accessible

 

[Ms Priss]

I really appreciate your reply.

This is going to be a bit of a rant. So hang on. And, no, I am not being paranoid; but after all these years seeing a bit of reality...and actually it is bout me not them.

I went to AA way back when; back when it was beat you to a pulp crap. At the time I was so vulnerable and in a very bad place. I did need to quit drinking, and I did.

I bought all the program, and practiced it very well. What I did not know was it was not a fit for me other than the support to quit drinking...which is huge...am not minimizing it.

However,it is a program of ego busting which is the last thing I needed. The whole focus is on character defects and making you a flawed person. Am not kidding when I say I was manufacturing character defects I did not have and went around making amends for things that were also manufactured.

Also I had a mental health background which was not tolerated...it was not just me...I saw them obliterate others with their tough love and chase them away. i was ostracized from the get go. They called me an institution baby, constantly told me I was crazy, belittled me in any way possible. I took it. I do remember thinking these people are crazier than I ever thought of being, but they lucked out and never got locked up. I guess I stayed because I did not know any better and had nowhere else to go.

This in not a judgement, but a fact. It was my first experience with street wise people and was way out of my league. Most of this i only see in hindsight. A bunch if liars, manipulators, users, and abusers...I was too dumb to know at the time. One of the things that to me is repulsive if the 13th stepping that goes on...the having sex with very vulnerable newcomers; and both sexes do it...big time.

I thought it was only me and could not for the life of me figure out why the steps were not working for me. It took me ten years to walk away (slow learner). A counselor said to me many years later...you do not need your ego busted, you need to develop some narcissism. Read a book recently written by a PHD and her experience in AA. Her theory is it isn't what is wrong with you but was about what was done to you. I know a lot of people needed their egos busted; I did not see one of them ever get humble...so while they no longer drink or whatever...did not see their personalities change much.

AA has probably changed a lot since then with the dual diagnosis and such and with a lot of the old-timers gone. I hope so.

Also they did make you different than other people...calling the people outside of AA EARTH PEOPLE. They also wanted you to read only literature they approved of and said AA was all you ever need...maybe for some...not for me.

Anyway my point is this...I do not expect to be coddled and know there are things we need to hear that we do not want to and sometimes need a kick in the butt...but I also know i cannot do one more program that beats you up with character defects...if that is what DBT is than I am very leary.

I know I sound completely belligerent; but I some how think there is an element of becoming a little wiser. To those who AA worked for...please no lectures.

Thanks!!!!!

 

[Yasmine]

I really appreciate your reply.

This is going to be a bit of a rant. So hang on. And, no, I am not b...

Oh thank goodness it wasn't received badly I thought i was going to get yelled at and I may still do but the fact I mentioned this to you with your previous experience I am so happy I did , in no way do you sound belligerent to me at all! I app
I have had

I had the first appt. with trauma therapist this week. I have had therapy before but never with a tra...

belligerent? No way! You sound ...not at all belugerant AND guess what? I was scared to open that in case you responded badly to my very blunt appraisal of dbt
My battery is really low but I wan

Sorry none of that should have posted my tablet is turning on and off I'll post what I was trying tonsay another time

 

[Deleted member 34328]

@Ms Priss I don't have any knowledge of AA or a background in DBT. Only CBT.

I really can't respond to any observations, however, I can't imagine being a part of a group that would belittle or tear down self-esteem.

If you've found a good trauma therapist, I would encourage you to try it for a few sessions. See if the connection works for you. A strong trust relationship is critical when working through trauma.

If emailing is encouraged or even setting up a short phone time, then my opinion would be to try it. I don't know how many options you have as far as therapists go, you can only work with what you have.

Please be careful of groups who seem to belittle or minimize your trauma. You need care, support and validation.

 

[Yasmine]

So sorry I think I posted half messages before I was on my tablet and its too boring and long to explain...anyway I apologize.

I have to say again that this was only my impression of dbt I am just a person who explored and researched therapy for myself and I'm certainly NO authority on any of this... so if you hear differently about dbt please don't let this influence you much .
Having said that I also tried to back up my concerns about dbt when I was doing therapy myself and I did find information that supported my bias and a lot that didn't as well

Again it may have simply been my confirmation bias that I found information that confirmed this bias and still do :)

But personally I think ( again I am only stating personal opinion here based on not a great deal of academic information so please take it with a grain of salt)
Given what you've about stated about that experience in AA (and I'm so sorry it happened to you that sucks but I know that it could happen. Predators and I don't like that word but its late now , will find ways to be with people who are hurting and not at there best and always unfortunately will , as paranoid as that sounds! Its been something I've recently learnt myself and I am so sad I needed too )

I personally would not recommend DBT to you , and i wont say why i think this here, but given AA and what i understand about dbt its not perhaps for you ( and i cant find a way to pm you privately to say why that is i am so sorry but I base that on something I don't think I should say here )

I CAN say CBT is helpful, or was in most ways for me personally , but with one warning ( that is CBT is its based on the assumption that one is dealing with rational and normal people in disscussions and arguements and that you'll discard all the toxic people . sometimes that's not possible , some people all peope deal with are selfish or manipulative and I've tried to use it with them and nup they are not going to bend but that's only a small part of CBT anyway . I mentioned this because of your AA experience ) but other than that one thing its great with trauma therapy in conjunction even better

And I suggest you check out NLP for dealing with manipulation and selfish twats like some of those in your AA group , I am not sure if I can use it for getting what i want personally , but it helps to understand others do and will use nlp strategies in an amoral way to manipulate you ) , I did do a lot of research on therapies ... lol

B T W NLP isn't always bad but the strategies can be mantipulative. I suggest you get some understanding of this because its a simple way to understand how we get manipulated or can be manipulated by others but again it isn't what its all about or how its presented

Like the person above said working with an insiteful and caring trauma therapist should be helpful!

I hope this makes sense and all the very best miss pris and really hope some of this is in some way helpful for you x either way the very best you certainly sound like you deserve success

@Ms Priss I don't have any knowledge of AA or a background in DBT. Only CBT.

I rea...

Its unfortunate but what miss priss says is sadly true of some groups

 

[Yasmine]

@Ms Priss I don't have any knowledge of AA or a background in DBT. Only CBT.

I rea...

Im sure very few but it can happen