What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[snugglepuss]

Well, these were said before I had PTSD, but they were about the trauma.

1. "I can't believe that would happen in ______.
(What, are some towns immune to certain shit?)

2. "You should have taken a self-defense course."
(I had taken one...actually three...sorry, didn't work for me)

3. "But how could he rape you if he had no weapon?"
(Um...quick physics lesson: I was 85 lbs. and he was 220. Any questions?)

4. "Was there any part of it that you liked?"
(Hmm...what was better, having my head slam against a wall or not being able to walk afterwards? Eanie meanie minie mo...)

5. "But you were a cheerleader; you kind of have to figure something would happen when you wear those little uniforms."
(Right...okay...please hold my pon-poms while I go get raped. Thanks.)

Oh, there are so many more. It amazes me the shit people will think and say.

What, you mean you don't love victim blaming? :confused: There are days when I seriously would love to just smack people. Or even better, force them into my skin and brain for a couple of hours just so that they can REALLY get an idea of what it's like. Maybe then they would have some sense of compassion.

And I am truly sorry you went through that horrible experience... *hugs if you accept them*

 

[AdamAnt]

Hey! it could happen! :)

 

[rjtransient]

"I think I have PTSD from talking on the phone with her. She never stops talking." That was a family member ranting about a chatty relative. When I called them on it, they were affronted: "Maybe I do! She keeps phoning and asking questions that are none of her business! It's harassment!"

To someone who is being physically stalked: "I'll give you my mini tripod. It has a bright light. Try to get a shot of their license plate."

-"Well then, stop talking to people."
-"You shouldn't have gone anywhere with him."
-"I don't believe you. If that had happened, I don't think you would be talking about it. Most people don't."
-"I don't care. I'm sick of hearing about it. Do you think other people don't have problems? I have an entire house to keep clean!"
-"I have problems sleeping too, and I'm STILL working."
-"You wouldn't have the guts." (family, when I was suicidal)

-"You really need to see Natural Born Killers. You haven't seen Kill Bill either? Really? You NEED to! Look up Quentin Tarantino on IMDb."

-"Hey baby. . . Hey! Come back! I'm a cop!"

 

[shadowchaser]

It's all in your head.

I do realize this but it doesn't change the fact that it's there.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

All I can really add to this thread is this -

If somebody ever gives you a feeling of dread - do not get in the car so to speak. That's called intuition. If you're wrong, you haven't lost a thing. And if you're right - you might have just saved your own life!

 

[tch75]

Great thread!

I can so relate to most of them!

Here is my version: When I finally tell people that I am on disability, have been since i was 22, they ask; really, how did you do that?!

Well, from the moment I was born, I planed for that from I was 5 I had an older brother who could not keep his hands of me, and I planned for my parents not to discover this. And my backup plan was that when he finally learned to behave, I had an older man who was like a supportive adult, to take advantage of a confused boy. Hell, I did the both, just to be sure to get the disability as soon as possible! (ironic) Haven't actually said this yet, but it would be "fun" to do so sometime....

Or when you tell someone about the disability they get the attitude, oh, you are one of those and all further conversation is ended...

t

 

[intothelight]

Hi Tch75,

I love your sense of humor! There are so many times I have wanted to blurt out something sarcastic, but don't.

Debbie

 

[just me here]

I am afraid it is going to get worse, there is alot of false info being used in the TV crime show stories. PTSD is in the news, and the average Joe thinks what they learned watching television is enough to make them conversant about PTSD. I am pretty sure that if I told my employer about it, they would need assurance that I was not going to go berserk in some kind of flashback induced insanity, and they would probably want a note from my psych to be sure I am not faking it.

I don't have any combat experience, and I have been working in my job forever so there couldn't be any torture in my past or they would have known about it, I must have been raped. That leads to questioning how a 250 plus lb. guy gets raped, and they either form a story they can beleive about how I was raped or they discount my PTSD as a phony diagnosis.

I remember the first time I saw PTSD depicted in a movie. It was a Cheech and Chong flick, a guy named strawberry was having 'nam flashbacks. HA. HA HA HA. :rolleyes:

 

[shadowchaser]

That reminds me of one of my favorite questions. "So does that mean you could kill someone and get away with it? " I tell them I like to guarden.

 

[externalsmile]

"you need to put it out of your head."

 

[shadowchaser]

I tried. Q tip wasn't long enough

 

[externalsmile]

*snorts* I am soooooooooo using that the next time that person says it to me!!!!!!