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General What Would You Do In A Crisis?

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amethist

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I ask this as I found out exactly what I had to do last Friday evening when hubby had a massive melt down.

Hubby has not been right for quite a while now, but nothing major has happened, only more bad days than good. Friday morning was not thing unusual, though he was stressed after finding out his bad wrist was actually torn scaphoid ligaments in his wrist, so another cast put on for we don't yet know how long. That and a few other minor stressors over the last few weeks.

Friday late afternoon he said he did not feel too good and was going to bed. He talked for a while longer then suddenly seemed to not know where he was, looking round trying to focus on something. At that point he still could here me and did know my voice, but that for the first time changed and he did not know who I was.

This escalated to the point where he said I had to keep away from him and no one was getting near him. he then took himself up stairs and barricaded himself in the bedroom. This did not last long and back down he came , to collect the large kitchen knife and some cans of lager. he did not threaten me, but again said I had to keep away from him. Back up stair he went and moved the wardrobe back across the door.

At this point I phoned a friend and asked for suggestions of what to do, he said leave him and stay away and see if he comes out of it, which is what I did.

A short while later he shouted me from the top of the stairs, but called me "copper", not me name. He thought I was a plain clothed police officer who was sent to check on him. He then said he wanted to speak to "MY boss, the main man, not a minor officer".

At this point I knew I had no other choice but to call the police and let them deal with him, in what ever way they felt necessary.

The operator on the police phone line was brilliant, she told me to stay on the phone and to stay safe, which of course was my first thought. She took so much information from me and passed it on to the officers on their way, as I gave it to her.

The helicopter arrived over head first, then the police cars came. it was like CSI outside our house with cars very where. As soon as they arrived, I went to them and left stu to be dealt with by them. He had dashed back in the bedroom and pushed the wardrobe back across the door.

One office took over and talked to him constantly through the open bedroom window, getting him eventually to first drop the knife out of the window, and then a while later to come down stairs to talk. He did this and eventually they got him calmly outside in the back garden to sit and talk, him till not knowing anything.

After a while of talking he asked where I was, though was still not fully back to normal, still in crisis mode. at this point they came and asked me if I would go and talk to him, telling me I would be safe as there were plenty of officers with him.

All this time I had been sat out of the way in a police car with 2 women officers. They could not believe how calm I was through it all, how together I was and not cracking up.

I was taken to see him and he did know who I was but was totally confused about what had happened, but still not fully back.

By now over 2 hours had passed.

Because of how he was and how he had been, they had to take him to the local hospital mental health unit to be assessed. He was assessed about 3 hours after they got him there, which the police are not happy about and are putting a complaint in.

The unit deemed him fit to be let out, but the police had already told me if this happened they would keep him over night to give me a break.

He was brought home the next morning and was back to normal, though embarrassed and ashamed about what had happened. Still not know half of what went on.

Some of it is coming back to him, but there is a big gap of about 3 hours that he has no clue about. Apart from that he is fine now.

At no time did I feel threatened, I was more fearful that he would hurt himself. I felt safe and in control, and well away from him, just in case.

I am also doing well, knowing that I did the right thing and would do exactly the same again if I had to.
 
(((((Amethist))))) You did exactly the right thing. You've been very brave. Big hugs to both of you.

I remember once when my mother lost it, not PTSD, but a similar situation resulted and me and my dad had to deal with her. She locked herself in the bathroom overnight, and, being deaf, nobody could communicate with her. But me and dad had to stay as safe as possible, which is exactly what you have done.

I am glad he was dealt with well by the Police (if not so well by the mental health team- surprise surprise) and that you are okay.
 
We are both doing well now, though hubby is still trying to get his head round what happened, he is still patchy with it all.

Still waiting for the mental health team to get in touch with us, boy are they going to get it when they do.

He is still afraid to go out and about, he is ok in the car going away from where we live, but local on foot is still a no no. He is scared that people will point at him and call him names.
 
I think you did an amazing job handling the situation. I, of course, give you credit for using the skills you have learned through your advocating for your husband the many years you both have been dealing with PTSD.

I have pointed out that one positive of this forum is that we all pick up little things by reading and sharing with others. You have undoubtedly picked up information from others over the years. Just as important is your sharing what happened last week. The cycle continues as perhaps someone else, when faced with crisis, remembers how you responded.

(((HUGS)))

ISH
 
((((((((((Amethist n Hubby))))))))))

I am so glad you used your insight. I am with the officers on the angry ledge! I question whether he was observed for other medical situations.

So many times a person can have the same symptoms while having a mini stroke. I do hope he has not. I hope he was seen for all possibilities just to be on the safe side.

I would put a hug on his cast if I could reach it. :hug: Whitney
 
We may have not got a call about how hubby is doing from the mental health team, but I got a call last night to check how I was doing.

It was from the Domestic Violence team and while they do understand that it was not Domestic Violence, because I am his wife and was involved in it all they did a report about me and had to put it in some kind of file.

She was very nice on the phone and did say if we heard nothing from anyone for hubby in the next 2 weeks, to give her a call and she would get onto it for us.

I did explain that I did have a lot of support for myself, which she was happy about.

Nice to know that some one out there does care.
 
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