What's Happening To Me?

[Gadgie]

I feel kind of nauseous and on the verge of rage. It makes me snappy and actually I can't stand being near any one

Yea! I get Ike that as well, get very short tempered and easily frustrated, argue with myself as well. Like today, I was OK during the day, but when it gets dark, that's when I'm at my worst.

Right now, I feel totally zoned out, lonely and really tired, tired of everything!

 

[WillyKat]

Yeah, we spend all day keeping it all in check, because we're at work and want to keep our job. Then we get home and let our guard down (because it's exhausting). Then anything and anything can set us off. So, we want everything turned off so that the world can be quiet just for a while.

All too common. Stick with your therapy

 

[Friday]

Totally normal response most people do to some degree or another (especially parents of small children, but even young single people tend to prefer to "come home from work" ; meaning take a bit of time to destress, shower/change clothes, relax for a spell, & gentle the transition... It just becomes a huge issue for many if not most parents because leave one job, and come home to another job! And if you've got a SAHP, they've also been working all day wih the kids & want their lunch break / time to switch gears / relax & refresh also...so both peeps really need a break & those need to be coordinated).

PLUS

PTSD doing its thing and kicking everything up a notch! Turning tired into exhaustion, irritation into rage, the sound of a fork being set down in another room into a cymbal being clanged next to your head.

I've found the exact same tricks parents use to not go batshit crazy and hate coming home, no matter how much they love their kids, works really really well. AKA DONT come straight home. When I'm doing well & PTSD isn't a problem? That means stopping off at a cafe 2 minutes from home (or from daycare) to wash my face, change my clothes, & read a book while having a snack... For about 15-20 minutes. When I'm doing badly? I generally need a whole hour or hour and a half; and I really do much better to stop by the gym, work out, take a full shower, change my clothes, eat something, and relax. THEN :D and Yaaaaaaay! Mom's here! ((Or sans kids, YES! I'm actually freaking human again!)).

So, for me, the PTSD really makes it a matter of degrees; how badly I need the time to decompress, and how much time & effort it takes.

15-20 min vs 60-90 min
Wash my face vs Shower
Whatever is fun vs Exercise + whatever is fun
Snack vs Meal
Etc.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I stay on hyper-alert so noise is something I struggle with constantly. I'm struggling with it as I type - i.e. I want to take a big ball of tennis socks and stuff them in the little kid's mouth downstairs who lets out blood curdling screams all day and then I want to lay into his parents with a Louisville Slugger. So, yes, anxiety does lead to rage sometimes. Even for those of us who consider ourselves very mild mannered. I think it's the PTSD and the anxiety/sensitivities it brings along with it. I also think it's the stressful, busy world we live in. I often use earbuds, but sometimes I just want quiet and just can't get it. The world is too congested and busy with too many people. It's sad when you have to revel in the minute or two you get in your apartment when all you hear is the hum of the refrigerator! So, yes, I can relate. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this. I guess this is one instance where exposure therapy isn't going to make lick of difference as I've been this way for a very long time and haven't gotten any relief. I still jump or want to rage at others who make a racket. Peace and quiet to you. VB

 

[Freedomfighter]

hiya, was wondering if this happens to anyone else or if anyone knows what this is?
I have bouts o...

I have a tip for you, not sure if it helps. In hardware stores they sell headphones that drown out noise, like the ones that construction people wear. They will drown out almost every noise up to 30 feet away. If you want to hear again what total quietness is like try these out. You may be amazed what a difference they make. Whenever I can not stand any noise I put those suckers on, instant quietness and peace.

 

[NowYouSeeMe]

I have ear defenders stashed around the house