What's The Point?

[Notsowild]

@xena21... I do see my children as a blessing. They have grown into great people. And we have ended the cycle of abuse. If it wasn't for them I would not be here. I know they love me unconditionally as I do with them.

I do not like to burden them too much with my problems. So I try not to tell them too much.

You are not alone in this world you have all of us here. This forum is wonderful. It has been a true lifesaver for me. :hug:

 

[xena21]

If it wasn't for them I would not be here. I know they love me unconditionally as I do with them.

I'm sorry for coming across insensitive if I did. I think I look at people who have children and are married and feel sad because I've never had that. I know that's selfish on my part, but my safest I have ever felt was with my Mom whenever she could be around and I always wanted to share that with a child.

My inability to be with other people has kept me from forming relationship in my adult life and I think that's why I'm so lonely all the time. I didn't mean to be insensitive. I'm very happy that you have wonderful children that love you. That is a true blessing and I do hope you feel better with the difficult questions you have. I can relate to those. I know all abused people even with children must go through so much Hell and I'm sorry you're suffering. I wish you the best.

 

[Firefly44]

Notsowild, I hear what you are saying.

I'm going to throw a bunch of things at you because sometimes in this frame of mind, you never know what can resonate:

• You deserve to live your life. Period.
• That voice that says what's the point? That is not you. That's your abuse talking. It's training from years of emotional abuse. Years of someone telling/acting out that you don't matter and what you want doesn't matter. It's incredibly real. I've felt how real it can be. Sometimes, like this week, it can feel so real that it can only seem true. But it's not.
• You are strong enough to do this. You lived through the abuse so it is a fact that you are strong enough.
  
• You're not hopeless. You've joined this forum. You've reached out. You're not alone.
• It gets better. Slowly, not as fast as we would like, but it gets better.
• Not only that, the things you learn during this healing process are skills and beliefs that you can then share and teach your children. You can live this life, you can allow yourself to be the person you are meant to be and then you can help your kids do the same.