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what's your most annoying triggers?

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sickfaery

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for me the most annoying are standing or lying still, white walls, magazines, just being in a bed, having anything rub touch or rub again certain parts of me (often the case with like pyjama shorts and covers...yea fml), being cold & if i kinda shift on my feet in a certain way...
 
I’m gonna be vague but a beloved cartoon character that’s been merchandised to oblivion. So it’s not like I can just not watch said cartoon. It’s on cups, pjs, memes, dog jumpers, and is also very well known and referenced by people. 🤢
 
For me, its any reference to Christianity. Anything from Christmas music, to someone saying "God bless you!" when I sneeze. Living in the Deep South, I can't get away from this one...annoying as all F*CK!!
 
I usually work on my triggers -in rough order- from most annoying to least... which changes them from annoying to a fun-ish challenge / game I play with myself... so you won’t usually find me on these kinds of lists.

But we’re in luck!!! 🤪

As I’ve been at my parents since I fell ill a bit ago, and that means

Actual Trigger(s)
  • I have zero control over the indoor temp or lights... and that means that I want to rip off someone’s head and shit down their neck at least a few times a day... as I’m constantly cold & in the dark. I used to be able to visit them just fine, and enjoy the hell out of them; but at this point I DESPISE their f*cking house, and can barely stand to share air -much less the sight of, or exchange words- with either of them. Some of that? Is, in fact, legitimate. I don’t expect I’ll know how much, until the 24/7/365 application of sandpaper to raw skin is removed.
  • Not knowing where my shit is. This isn’t a trigger I’ve ever been willing to work on, and only a bizarre set of circumstances would make it an issue in my life... as the vast majority of people/situations do. not. take. your. things. from. you... without raining hellfire down on them -or severing all ties immediately- being an appropriate response. Yes, it’s wrapped up in trauma-stuff up to my eyeballs, becuase not knowing where my shit was meant people would die because of me... but it’s also not an unreasonable expectation in normal-life to not take other people’s things. My mother, however, is compulsive about “moving shit around”, and has no boundaries/feels she’s entirely in her rights to move other people’s shit around. Even when I didnt live with them, I wouldn’t share my keys -or if there was an emergency, would get my locks recut- because my mom will let herself in while you’re away, and move your shit around. The worst example of type? I was out of town & she packed out my house, and put everything in storage. Now that IS the worst example, but that she’s willing to go that far? Will proooooobably illuminate the lesser degrees she goes to without thinking twice. Brick. Wall. Bang. Head. And living with them? Means there is no escape from her random meddling, and no way to plan around it, unless you plan to never sleep. Even reducing to 2 changes of clothes, what’s on me & what’s in the wash, means I have found my clothes in every single closet in the house. 3 story house. 1 article of my clothing per closet. Aaaaaargh.

    Stressors
  • Eh. I started to write it out... there’s just too damn many to count. It’s a shit show, and I’m losing my goddamn mind.
 
The sound of a zipper, nude men, being nude myself, loud noises, crowds, raised voices, heated arguments, cursing, and abused animals esp. cats/kittens, being a passenger in a car, and people walking behind me. All of these bother me intensely.
 
Had to work with this for a while:

Conflicts——- a very certain facial expression (Reminds me of my caregiver Nr 1 and Nr 2 and Nuns in Catholic boarding schools) paired with a dominant voice giving me orders or asking me a question. This always created massive stress in me because I reacted in an aggressive manner which led me to also want to internally make that person like me— perpetrator/victim Dynmaic.
It’s mostly conflicts because a part of me wants power and control and the other parts want to be submissive..
 
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