When All Hope Is Lost

[Nighthawk]

I want to die. I want my hell to be over with.and yet all this idiotic human does is keep fiiiing trying

 

[Friday]

?..and yet all this idiotic human does is keep fiiiing trying

Good. Keep doing that.

Personally, I view hope as a 4 letter word. It's a tease. A heartless and cruel one at that. It gives the idea that we do the right thing because it feels good, not because it's just the right f*cking thing to do. Sometimes, the right thing? Hurts. The good feeling going away? Doesn't mean what you're doing is wrong. It doesn't mean you're not strong. It doesn't mean the assholes of the world are right. All it means is that instead of pining for a future that may or may not happen, you're here, right now, in the present. And in the present? You're still fighting. You're still doing the right thing. You're still strong. Because it sucks right now. And you're still f*cking trying.

That's not idiotic. That's bravery. <grin> Those two can look the same, sometimes. You've just mixed them up, is all.

 

[Gadgie]

I made a mistake and posted twice, as I though I had lost the first post, I hope it's sorted out now though?

 

[Nighthawk]

@Gadgie did you meen to have a post? or is the wrong one above?

 

[joeylittle]

@Nighthawk - I'm so sorry to hear about your being turned down. That is just a really rough blow in a string of rough blows. It's easy to think that the universe has it out for you (at least, I do that really well). But @FridayJones is right, as always. The stronger, braver thing is to fight. And you are doing that. And it seriously sucks - but we are here for you.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@Nighthawk :hug:Most lawyers will take the case (Pro Bono) after the initial filing of disability has been processed & turned down. It is often the normal sequence of events.

 

[Nighthawk]

This was not the first denial

 

[Gadgie]

Quite....."@Gadgie did you meen to have a post? or is the wrong one above?"

I had posted the same post in two different threads? Sorry about that.

 

[Nighthawk]

I am over trying I need to stop. I have had enough of everything. THere is way to much BS to del with to get the help I seek. I am not even talking about my SS denial. My medical stuff is beyond overwhelming and I have to jump hurdels when I cant even walk.

 

[Nighthawk]

I want to quit.

 

[Gadgie]

I've been there, quite recently as well. I was so close, then my phone rang (which it hadn't done in weeks)!and that call saved my life. I was total wreck emotions all over the place, couldn't see a future or a need to keep going.

Now, looking back at that time, I now realise just how close I came. I'm not the person I used to be yet, but I'm trying hard, I try and get something positive out of every day, and that is my goal.

You must set your self a goal, no matter how small, and go for it, then move the bar up a notch for the next day, you will find it a challenge but it's with it.