When Dying Is Just The Only Way

[Smile]

I had to move back... No money so my only other choice was to live in my car... Which wouldn't work out too well with all triggers.

So. I'm living at my friggin' mother's house for the past 2 months while waiting for disability to make a decision.

But now winter has come. It's hard enough living with my mother but this weather...

I know it all sounds so petty but... This just might be my breaking point.
F**k it all.

 

[Friday]

It's not the only way. You've got 2 months to ride out & apparently you'd rather die than be at your mother's?

- Car (triggers v suicide? I go for triggers, personally, but it's hardly your only option)
- Shelters
- Camping
- Catch a bus down south with good weather & shelters or camping
- Jail

5 ways not to have to die off the top of my head, and none of them require a friend in the world, or even any kind of good luck. With either of those two? Several dozen other options.

You're not out of options, it's just hard to see them sometimes.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Hey @Smile it's a bitch waiting to hear from disability. Even if you are on SSDI, you're allowed to work and keep your benefits as long as your earned income is less than the allowed amount. If you can find some way to get out of the house, she won't bug you if she can't see you.

In addition. If you have been deemed disabled, you are eligible to get help from your states Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. They assign you a counselor whose job it is to help you find employment in which you will be able to do with your disability. They pay for training help with car repairs, etc. these appointments will get you out of the house and maybe they can help you get your own housing.

I don't know what else to say. I left home at 17 and now I'm 60. My Mother still f*cks with my head. But I'll never have to be dependent on her, just to SSDI.

 

[Smile]

It's not the only way. You've got 2 months to ride out & apparently you'd rather die than be at your...

I wasn't clear enough. It's been 2 months... I don't have a clue how much longer I'm stuck here.

 

[Smile]

@KwanYingirl , thanks :) I feel a bit less kookoo knowing I have company in the "mom drives me mad" dept.

I don't feel able to do anything these days so work is definitely not an option.

 

[shimmerz]

I know this story. Lived there. I feel for you - so very much.

 

[Justmehere]

:hug: @Smile

Waiting for disability is really really hard. I probably wouldn't last two days at my mothers house before I would have to be hospitalized...

When I was waiting disability, it was awful. I despaired of life itself. It was worth it to hang on through it.

Does the light and weather changes make it more difficult? Winter brings some robust times of depression for me.

Spring is coming. Hang on. Stay with us. :hug:

 

[Smile]

@shimmerz , thank you. Means more to me than you probably know

 

[Smile]

:hug: @Smile

Waiting for disability is really really hard. I probably wouldn't la...

Yes! I definitely feel like winter is just too hard to bare