When I Just Can't Look At Anyone

[Jade-]

I have times where I just can't look at anyone at all. If I do I have an overwhelming feeling of shame. It makes it very difficult, not to mention humiliating when there's times looking at someone is necessary, for example, at staff meetings for work, when around my family, at the dr's office, etc. And my bf is hurt at times because I simply can't look at him at all when he's talking to me. It doesn't happen all the time and it's def not happening as much as it used to, but it does still happen sometimes.

I worked on this extensively in therapy but it's just something I can't seem to get past or master. I have tried focusing on a persons forehead when I absolutley have to look at them but I'm sure I just look like some kind of weirdo or make them feel self conscious(if someone stares at my foredhead I would be wondering what's wrong with it).

Does anyone else struggle with this? How do you work around it or deal with it?

 

[Roland]

I've heard some people stare at eyebrows because it's close enough to the eyes that most people don't notice.

 

[Jade-]

Thanks, good idea, I will try that @Roland

 

[anthony]

I have this... not a shame thing for me, more just... people piss me off at times. I just don't want to be around the bland BS that come out of people. The worries and concerns that seem so major to them, but to me, a blip on the radar that is life experience.

I do notice when doing this, looking away, looking down, just not wanting to look at a person, and then I also force myself to look them dead in the eye, where they often then break eye contact instead of me doing it. Somewhat aggressive... but its a passive way for me to still be pissed at the stupid shit people think are important in life when engaged in dumbing conversation because its just part and parcel of all being considered normal.

 

[arfie]

my version of this extends to aversion to touch and speech. like you, mine is not a constant but when it hits, it whelms. my primary coping mechanism is compassionate radical acceptance, emphasis on, "compassionate." beating myself up over ^it^ only feeds my social anxiety. i don't expect myself to hug, make eye contact or even speak when this condition hits any more than i would expect myself to walk while experiencing a leg cramp. with compassionate, non-judgmental acceptance, i often find surprising new ways to get through the episode, including the occasional angel who spots and understands what i am going through and adds a new trick to my toolbox. those angels are priceless.