When Night Time Is A Trigger

[the racha]

Hi, everyone. I'm trying to support a buddy of mine (we met at the psych hospital) who has DID. One of her triggers-- and it has been very bad lately-- is nighttime. As soon as the clock hits 6:30pm, she becomes badly triggered and switches to a younger alter. She then loses all sense of time until the morning, and she sometimes wakes up with self-inflicted injuries. Much of her trauma happened at night, and she also often hid herself in the dark (I'm guessing closets although I do not know that for sure).

Does anyone have any advice on how she can take back her nights? She has tried talking to her alters, and also soothing them with things that they like, but none of this seems to be working. She is on plenty of meds, I'm wondering if anyone out there has been through something similar or has any advice that I can pass along to her? Anyone know of any specific coping strategies for dealing with nighttime?

 

[BrownEyes]

Hello the racha,

My response is more of a validation for your friend, instead of advice. I'm new to this forum and was recently diagnosed with PTSD. Although I do not have DID, nighttime is also a a huge trigger for me. My more severe abuses occurred at night, and like your friend I start to get anxious as soon as it starts to get dark outside. I'm scared of the dark and I am constantly on alert in case someone is hiding in the shadows (as my father used to do). Every noise, every shadow, anything out of place startles me and makes me afraid.

Some things I try to say to myself is to continually remind me that I am in the present and not in the past. I say "That was then and this is now". I also try to breathe deeply instead of taking shallow breaths. I try to concentrate on relaxing my body. These things help sometimes, but at other times nothing seems to help. I really feel for your friend. She's blessed to have you there for her. Good luck to you both.

 

[Manic11]

Dear Racha,
I go through almost that same situation everynight. I wish I could tell you how to help it. I find that sometimes it helps to simply be around people. It doesn't always underfortunatly. Other than that, I find the only thing I can do is turn on the TV to try and distract myself and just try to remain calm. I try to keep myself focused on staying put and trying to relax. I just try to get through it. One bit at a time.

I'm sorry I couldn't be very much help... Just know that she's not alone in this. She can do it. If I find any techniques that work for me, I will let you know as maybe they will work for her.

Take care,
Manic

 

[Ursa]

Did she tried to listen to her Alters instead of just talk to them? Maybe they need something that she is not aware of.

 

[kers]

Nights are awful for me, too. I'm a different person at night. Unfortunately, there's no quick fix for it. Working with her therapist is, ultimately, the only thing that will cause any significant change. Helping her find tiny ways to increase her feelings of safety might help. For me, things like turning all the lights on, keeping the tv on, and having things to do helps. So does taking medicine that keeps me asleep so I don't wake up in terror.

You sound like a good friend to her.

 

[the racha]

Thanks everyone for your responses. Ursa, I will ask her whether she listens to her atlers; I know that she has internal meetings with them often, so my guess is that she does. She is really in the thick of it right now, her alters are beginning to share with her the extent of the trauma she went thru. It does not help that one of her perpetrators (mother) is always around.

I thought today that maybe she could establish a routine every single evening, before she begins to dissociate. Then, at the time she typically begins to dissociate, she could work really hard on staying present for 5 more minutes. Perhaps little by little she can build on that 5 minutes until she can do 15 minutes, and so on. It isn't much, but maybe it would help to build her confidence?

Thank you again; I will let her know that she isn't alone.

 

[Ursa]

I am not sure if that would work. Alters are part of us that exists to keep part of our consciousness healthy enough to live outside the abuse.
She has to find a way to make her alters understand that she is not in danger at evening anymore, so she does not need to lose consciousness. I am not sure how she can do this...