When One Of The Perpetrators Emails Your Therapist?

[Soelyla]

I am being treated for PTSD with a psychotherapist. I began experiencing permanent flashbacks after moving to Switzerland. I was assaulted many years ago in SA by my ex-boyfriend, a swiss man and then later nearly raped by one of the witnesses, a dutch man when I tried to speak out. Since then I have been unable to speak about it and suppressed it.

Last year after a few months of therapy, I finally confronted my ex and the dutch man by email and informed the dutch man's then fiancee, now wife of the attempted rape. They are resident in SA. This dutch man's wife was very responsive and I asked her to contact my therapist for information on these flashbacks. The dutch man then emailed my therapist to tell her I'm a liar, wild, erratic, raging etc.

I would like to know what legal recourse there is for patient and therapist on outside influences?

 

[amethist]

Hi Soelyla

Welcome to the forum.

To be honest, if your therapist is one of the better one's she should ignore any outside influences, as it is you she is treating, not your ex-boyfriend.

It was probably a mistake to pass on your therapists e-mail address though. if this man is as bad as you say he is, he would have had no problem forcing the information from his now wife, if he really wanted it.

Try to put this down to part of the learning curve, a hard lessen true, but valuable for your future healing. Other members may have some different thoughts on this, these are just my own.

Take care.

Amethist

 

[cherryblossom]

Hi Soelyla

Welcome to the forum.

I don't think there is any thing you can do legally to stop this guy from contacting your T. Obviously if your T were to respond there are confidentiality issues. I would suggest that you have no further contact with him, his wife or your ex.
Concentrate on your therapy, and healing.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I'd report his behavior at once to the authorities if it happened here. That's harassment (criminal) and libel (civil).

I'd also sent a complaint to his internet service provider. Harassment via email is against the law in many countries, and they can yank his account and ban him, forcing him to get a new ISP.

Keep the email...ask your T. to keep it as it is evidence. They'll look at the headers of it to go after him.

 

[Soelyla]

Yes I know, I was completely naive assuming his wife would believe me and participate in my therapy. I felt enormous guilt and disbelieve at the time he tried to rape me. I should have told her but she was so close to her wedding, I just couldn't hurt her like that. Also afraid being blamed once again. I already blamed myself for my ex's abuse and being revictimized convinced me that there was something about me that made them do this to me. I could'nt accept the reality of 2 abusers.

Recently this dutch guys now wife informed me that my ex abused another second victim and she blamed me for that abuse too because I didn't report it. Worst of all, she won't tell me who the person is. I'm terrified. I just found out tonight that she and the second victim are from the same town and must have known one another. Its triggering my panic attacks. I cannot believe this silence and unwillingness to come forward with information. This is triggering my sense of helplessness, that I deserved the abuse and intense fear of living in a perverse world.

Last year my therapist informed me I have PTSD and as with my trauma, still in disbelieve I sat down to read PTSD stories and every story is mine. I just find it extremely disturbing reading someones story and its mine! Thats why I stay away from doing my own research and forums.

I remember now that I shut down after being severly assaulted then revictimized. The flashbacks started years after I shut down and continued irregularly for many years while I lived in Holland and when my husband worked for a Swiss company and wanted to move there. The panic attacks became unbearable and flashbacks turned into a series when we moved to Switzerland. Then the memories just came flooding back and I began confronting them all, all the while locking myself indoors, terrified and experiencing back problems in the areas where I was beaten. I simply could not believe this was happening. I kept track of everything happening because it grew more and more unbelievable and complex. I published it all on my website. My website helped enormously to articulate, write and read it back to myself and helped me to believe that my experiences were real.

More so, a few weeks ago I returned to SA to visit the place it all happened and its remarkable the details I had suppressed. Going back to that place helped connect the emotional trauma with the physical and I finally believe it happened. My therapist is very good and I couldn't have made this terrifying journey through the past without my husband.

 

[BloomInWinter]

(((((Soelyla)))))

Wishing you comfort, healing, care, and strength.

You are AMAZING.

Your ABUSER is solely to blame for victimizing others & you.

I know it doesn't feel that way from the inside but it's true.

These incredible @$$holes LOOK for us and our previous abuse drives us to a place where we don't trust our feelings so we can't be warned properly. That's the worst legacy of my abuse, I think...of how much it robbed me of having & trusting my feelings.

May you find peace...

 

[blueangel371115]

Hang in there. Some people are just evil and like to suck the light out of others. Love can make some people blind.