Jods you really have the right attitude to make it work! My hubs has moments where he can't take it anymore, but they are short lived. He is truly selfless as a whole and that seems to be what it takes to get going down the right path once we are actively addressing the issues. Ignoring them and not trying to get better is another thing. But my husband is now looking at the long run and our future, not how I act today working through it. And yes, at the moment I may not be more than an emotional leech on him and not giving back, but I think he knows, I try to let him know, I am grateful and don't mean to be. The only thing I can do is work through this and get to a better place so I can give back . But the process is slow and long and it is all take on my end from him.
Look at it like an investment. It may not do anything for you now, but in the long run it will pay off big to have a somewhat normal person around that can return the love again once it is sorted out. Someone a lot closer to who they were before and that can/wants to do things again. And I know I can never repay him for all the crap he has dealt with. And it took a while before I saw how much crap I gave him. Now we both know I give crap all the time but at least I am working to get to a good place in myself so I can be good to him again (not medicated good either, which will be new), and he wants me there because he loves me. He is willing to wait it out and help me where he can until I get there. Y'all do a lot. Don't think we don't know, we do and are grateful when you are there catching us.