When The Illness Defines The Person

[Bone Gryphon]

When does the illness stop defining the person, when you gain control of your life? How do people feel about their illness, does it define you? Or do you control it and not let it define you?

 

[Ayasha]

I like to think my diagnoses don't define me, I still haven't fully accepted the diagnosis of PTSD despite clear indicators of having the disorder.

Either way, I don't think a disorder or illness defines a person. A diagnosis, label, or whatever is nothing but a small part of you and even then it isn't what defines you.

I don't control my symptoms at all, there are times where it is managed but I'm still working hard in counseling to ensure I become better at managing my life. I think the symptoms can control you, especially if you are having a difficult time managing them but I don't think they can ever truly define a person.

I hope that helps, and if I need to I can clarify what I mean.

 

[Violet03]

I know exactly what you mean. Unfortunately, I am still in the place where I feel my PTSD controls me. In a way I feel that defines me because I can't be who I want to be and do what I want to do. I'm working on changing how I think about that in therapy.

I want to be able to go to social functions without feeling different than everyone else and wanting to disappear or hide.

I want to be able to control my reactions, both emotionally and physically, when I am triggered about one of my traumas.

I want to have less flashbacks (none would be better) and quit dissociating. The exhaustion I feel after the flashbacks is frustrating. It is also frustrating and exhausting to try not to dissociate. Apparently, when I get really stressed or triggered by something I dissociate.

I want to get to the point someday where I remember my traumas, but I am strong enough to be ok with it. I want to be able to think about it or talk about like people talk about the weather. I don't want it to define me anymore. I don't want my past or my PTSD to determine how I feel or how I react to things. I want to feel "normal".

 

[DharmaGirl]

When I was first diagnosed I was very aware of my PTSD. I would talk about it constantly and research all the time. I really didn't believe it. After awhile, I settled down and now I don't talk about it so much. I believe it now and I am doing the best I can to heal. I think that letting go of the idea that I had a disorder that disabled me was when I didn't let it define me anymore.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It does not define me. It is a thing that causes problems for me and I have to learn how to manage the symptoms. I do not have the symptoms I had in the beginning when I was first diagnosed.

I have anxiety and depression now. But I am also a caregiver for my husband who has parkinsons and dementia and I think my symptoms are from that instead of the ptsd.

I can still get triggered into a bad reaction but it does not happen very often anymore. I hope this helps.

 

[intothelight]

I have PTSD and I have cancer. I am neither PTSD, nor the cancer, but I am healing from both. The labels do not define "who" I am, though they can create obstacles in my day-to-day life.

I cannot change what has happened, but I can choose to work hard to heal. I can also choose to take whatever good came out of these events and move forward with that. It is in those life lessons I find changes within myself that are for the better. No one is ever stagnant as everyone changes over time.

I choose not to be defined by my limitations but rather to look at myself as a work in progress.

 

[safenow]

How do people feel about their illness, does it define you? Or do you control it and not let it define you?

My illnesses do not define who I am, yet they allow others to think things about me that are not true. The title of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) or any of the other medical conditions I have are not who I am, but rather what diseases I suffer with.

My physical condition keeps me from doing things that others can do. My multiplicity allows me to do things that others can't do.

The last time I was admitted to the hospital, rather than work with my medical condition at that time, they chose to place me in the mental unit and never even called my own doctors. They wanted to "test" the multi to see what I'd do. For two weeks, until I finally got smart and stripped naked so they could see the bruises and swelling so with their own eyes they could confirm what I'd been saying since I taken to the hospital. When they treated me for the medical problems, they then released me to my own doctor. I filed a report on how I was treated as well as ask for a commendation to the ones who actually listened and helped me.


Being who I am is not an easy life. I believe anyone with PTSD can relate to that. When people hear the "title" they assume a lot of things. But you know what they say about assuming anything, it makes an "ass" out of "u and me".

 

[Bone Gryphon]

I'm glad to hear all these responses from people. I think I manage my illness pretty well. Im doing an intensive mode course over the summer at college this is the last week for it. Had some hard times with it but overall pleased with my progress. I wish you all the best in your healing endeavours.

Regards,

 

[discarded]

My husband has accepted his PTSD is who he is. Before I left him he said that this is who he is, an angry withdrawn man who has decided to accept the way things are and use alcohol to cope. He says that is his choice and although he will probably never be happy, being on his own and drinking himself to sleep every night is the best he can expect. Yes it is his choice, but it has left me incredibly hurt and left me to pick up the pieces and try to explain it all to our children. The adult kids are finding it difficult to be shut out of his life and I have no idea what the overalll effect will have on our 12 year old daughter. Everyone keeps saying he will have to hit rock bottom before he truly wants help, by that time he may have lost all his family for good.

 

[Britt.f7]

No, my illnesses do not define me. I am, as the saying goes, a sum of my parts.

 

[Pinkcake]

Hmmm....sometimes I feel like it defines a period of time in my life and I am in that period right now but does it define my character? My personality? My person? No, I like to believe it doesn't. It doesn't define my future. If I left it untreated and uncontrolled? Yes it probably would define me as a person but I'm really trying to prevent that.

It's difficult having some of the feelings that come along with PTSD. The out of control feeling is the worst for me. It is a panic that wells up from the pit of my stomach and takes over my whole being. I have that feeling because I have PTSD. That feeling prevents me from doing some things that I want to do. Things that I have done in the past with no problem and things I want to do again.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I have been to chronic pain groups where the illness defines the people there. They are their pain number. They are always at the high end of the pain scale. Always. Their whole life revolves around talking about their pain. I quit going because I wanted to have a life despite my pain, and I wanted to heal. The same with the PTSD. I am not that anymore. I am me, trying to heal.