Death When You Stop Caring About The Death Of A Loved One

[Ladyghosthunter]

As you know, I deleted my family from the Rolodex of life and because they were a bad virus. I walked away and decided to do away from the sickness, narcissism, anyway, you all know my story.

Today, I realized that if any of my family members died, I wouldn't care. I thought about it and didn't feel anything if any of my family members died. I don't go to funerals after the death of my friends in a shooting 16 years ago (trigger moment). I can't think about them and the farther away they are, the more I feel like as if I don't care.

Has anyone ever felt this? Am I wrong for not caring?

 

[One step at a time]

I'll start with: I think there is right or wrong in how you treat a person, but not in how you feel about them.
It is fairly new to me to have so many people in my life that I love. There are few bio-family members that I can honestly say I would mourn in the way that I would mourn my non-bio family and my close friends.

If you feel like it, some questions that may or may not be useful: Do you feel like you are not invested in these people? Is this not-caring a protective measure? Does the non-attachment bother you?
Please be gentle with yourself as you sit with your realization.

 

[Friday]

According to WHO apx 56 million people died in 2012. Link Removed

Are you wrong for not grieving them? When none of them ever hurt you? If not, why would you be wrong for not grieving those who did hurt you?

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

I apologize if my topic didn't make any sense. The people I'm not talking to are the people who hurt me. They were never there for me in my life and never there when I needed them. I suffered their abuse all of my life and I just don't care. The best way to describe how I feel is ...if I got a call and they died, I would say, "Let God handle them" and hang up. Nothing. I wouldn't regret my message or anything. Does that make me cold and heartless even through my Higher Power tells me to care? I can't wrap my head around caring about people who ****ed me over all of my life. When my Grandmother died, I cried for myself because I grieved the loss of my childhood due to her. Now...I couldn't give a crap less if anyone in my biological family died. I don't know. I guess I don't care anymore.

 

[Rumors]

I apologize if my topic didn't make any sense. The people I'm not talking to are the people who...

I'm angry like that too.... It's hard. I'm some stretch I love them bc it is the only love I have ever known. In another I hate them bc in order for me to receive love I lost myself and have no idea how to retrieve that now...

 

[Friday]

Does that make me cold and heartless even through my Higher Power tells me to care?

You care for a rabid dog by shooting them.
You show respect to a rattlesnake by staying away.

I was brought up to believe that God doesn't want people who blindly follow the words of men, no matter who they say they speak for. The gift of agency, is also the gift of responsibility, and I am responsible for my own actions. Just following orders, is never an excuse. That the letter of the law & the spirit of the law are two different things. And if the letter of the law seems wrong to me? To argue it out with God & come to my own understanding. The words of men may act as a guide, but it's my own choices that determine where on the path I place my feet.

I can't tell you, or anyone, what your god wants from you. I can just share my own understanding.

 

[Richie]

you know the saying "you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family". whatever the circumstances are, it is your life and your choice who you care about. nobody has the right to judge you for it even though it may be generally expected to care about family. that would be fine in an ideal world but in the real world you do what is right for you.

 

[lalazagna]

Am gonna come out and say that I feel this as well.
If some of my biological family members died, especially the parents, I wouldn't care, it would be a big "meh" moment, have a nice day and hang up.
I don't feel any biological connection or link to them at all, we just happened to live in the same house. Today we are estranged, permanently, actually their choice, but hell would freeze over before I'd ever let them near me again.
I could talk about all the ways they abused me and my siblings, but I don't feel the need anymore to justify not caring. I just don't anymore.

There is probably an innate sense of protecting myself in there, coupled with realizing and accepting that trying was futile, they wouldn't ever change