I am back because I want to add that I think we should celebrate the ways that men and women are different, but focus on the fact that before we are sexual beings, we are first and foremost human beings.
We all suffer when society asks either gender to be anything less that what we legitimately are and also when it asks us to be more than we can ever possibly be. I am so tired of being lumped into the globalization's that say all men are this way. I'm sad when some men do the same thing to the ladies because it fails to take into consideration an individual's strengths and weaknesses. It strips us of our individuality, and it is nothing more than a conditioned response that continues to de-humanize each of us. We are all people deserving of respect; each with our own stories of suffering and triumph. It is not helpful for PTSD sufferers such as myself who come from being sexually abused little boys in serach of help and then be told that mostly women suffer from PTSD. What difference does that make to me? What am I being told? The message is clear; we live in a society that dictates that men are not allowed to be victims, to need help, or to show emotion etc. To be a man who needs help is to be stigmatized, ridiculed, and stereotyped, even by the people we go to for help. That needs to change!!!
Society is you and me! So, if change doesn't start with us, who do ya think is going to change things? No one that's who. I was most likely genetically predisposed to developing PTSD because both my father and his father had untreated ptsd, (as well as being practicing alcoholics). I grew up with no true parental guidance or positive coping skills and this further predisposed me to develop ptsd. I am also a very sensitive and empathic person, which makes being a man difficult these days because with homophobia still so rampant, I am thought of as a being homosexual or worse,....a woman, (no offense meant to you ladies). Yet, no one takes into account that I am a 6 ft. - 213 lb man who can whoop some serious butt if I need to, until they see me face to face. Then, no one dares to insinuate that I am somehow less of a man.
When you are 18, (or 21 as the case may be according to the state you live in), then and you are a male, then you are a man...period! So the real issue should be about what it means to be a descent human being. If more people would concern themselves with that than they do with some predetermined idea of what it means to be a man, (or a woman for that matter), then we could heal a lot of the sexism that divides this society into a group of alienated men and women. We could have true partnerships instead of the domestic violence and sickness that we hear way too much about today. Men would feel free to get help for the illnesses that lead them to be ignorant, sick and violent.
Alright folks, I didn't mean to rant so much for so long, but I am not apologizing..... I am no longer a child suffering in silence, ashamed and afraid. I am an adult and I have something to say, so I would really like to hear your thoughts on this subject. I know not all of you who struggle with ptsd have had your masculinity or feminity called into question and so for some of you this post is not really relevant...or is it??? What is the societal messages that underlie such statements as, "why don't you just get over it?" I think that whether we are talking about the social roles of men and women or the ignorance and stigma of mental illness, we are all affected by the beliefs that the majority of people hold to be true.
Thanks for letting me rant! I needed to get this off my chest, (so to speak).
