Where Do I Belong?

[cakey]

Hi my name is Cakey.

This is a very confusing time for me. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety disorders, and depression, then years later as a paranoid schizophrenic. Which the latter doesn't fit the bill. I couldn't trust the psyche enough to express what had happened to me. Even when I'd stay up the night before seeing him, planning it out what to say, and how to let it out. I just kept it inside.

I know you guys can't diagnose me, I'm not asking for that. My symptoms fit the description and the description was given to me by a friend. I deal with a lot of hypervigilance in some cases severe(holding up in my room not sleeping for a few days). That's gotten better lately though. I can only sleep 4-5 hours at a maximum a night(or should I say morning) anyways, and sometimes the dreams just aren't even worth trying... I'm working on trusting people currently, meditation has helped with that, but it's been a long road since I realized PTSD is the culprit to the symptoms...

I don't really want to spill my guts about whats gone on but I was molested at a party, abandoned by my family, and been robbed/had my life physically threatened with-in a 6 month time frame 3 years back. It was easier to deal with when I thought I was crazy...

Anyways I'm looking for some support, I know it will get better but its hard to know where to even start. If I'm not supposed to be here because I'm not diagnosed officially, I'm sorry, I will pack up and go elsewhere. I completely understand.

 

[anthony]

Hi Cakey... welcome to the forum. What you outlined I can already say fits the criteria for PTSD... whether you have it, you already know the answer to that. So yes... your trauma definitely fits the profile, and even your diagnostic history to some degree. Very normal to be lumped with psychotic disorders at the worst parts of PTSD if a lesser physician treats you, ie. schizophrenic, bipolar, range of disorders...

 

[Srain]

Welcome Cakey, sorry that a pdoc would misdx you as schizo but depending how you presented with the paranoia it might be understandable.

The trouble with sleeping and fear of it, I can certainly understand. The multiple traumas seem to not be as unusual as I first had thought until I started doing some research and especially when I found this sight, I didn't feel so alone. There is a lot of information here.

Glad you are here,
Rain

 

[blueangel371115]

Me to, welcome to the forum

 

[cakey]

Thanks so much for the welcomes here. It really does mean a lot and makes me feel less alone. Let this be the beginning to a calmer mind. We're all in this together.