Where Do I Go To Get These Emotion Thingies?

['91 Girl]

TherapyBankrupt...no, not yet, aside from acknowledging that is what is going on.

 

['91 Girl]

Oh, that was a response to your first post. It looks like we posted at the same time.

 

[Lonelyone]

I too have lots of problems with emotions...feeling them and their association. I can't seem to assign the "right" emotion(s) to my traumas. I find it unacceptable to cry...especially in front of people because I couldn't do so as a child...it was just not the thing to do. I struggle with regulating my emotions (or lack thereof) in therapy and the very first time I went to therapy (aside from school psychologists which were useless) I was told that I would not improve unless I show emotion. Needless to say, I stopped seeing that therapist because in my eyes...that would never happen.

I have a huge disconnect with emotions and my traumas. Relationships seems to be the worst because I can't feel "nurture" (if that even is an emotion) and it translates to the EMDR work I am doing because I can't do a nurturing figure. My therapist asked me today what I needed and after reading this thread it gives me insight...I need to be able to attach emotions to what I felt during my traumas and that is something I can't do.

 

[pixi]

I've been struggling with feeling my emotions as well. I didn't really notice it until recently, I think I've been able to skate by (in therapy) with just thoughts. I notice I have anxious thoughts, or depressed thoughts, but the feelings themselves are absent. It's the same when I talk about my trauma.. All words, no emotion. I can't offer any advice, but I know that it's good to know you're not alone.

 

[anthony]

Everybody isn't naturally emotional. Some people are more emotional than others, though it doesn't mean either is more or less compassionate, empathetic or otherwise. Some people just simply don't experience emotions at the same level as others, or they experience different emotions. A majority of males will express emotion through anger. A majority of females will express emotion via crying. Both are in fact incorrect, because emotion should be expressed by understanding of the feeling. Responses are just that, responses. They have a time and place, which isn't just for the sake of it because you feel something so you get angry or start crying.

You can learn emotion. You do it by looking up emotions and then learning their meanings. You can't often express a feeling because you don't understand what it is you're feeling. When you understand what an emotion is specifically, you can then identify that understanding with what is going through you head, then put it into a single emotional term.

You would be surprised how many people screwup emotion as it is... they think they know what they feel, but feel other.

 

[Phoenix05]

I'm the same.

My emotions are all out of wack unless I'm medicated and then are all out of wack because I am medicated.

The worst thing I find is trying to tell my wife I love her without being able to feel love. I tried explaining it to her but she just got upset and didn't want to talk about it... not exactly useful.

The shame and torment of thinking you've always done wrong is what I find the worst. Even when I'm right I feel shame because I made the other person wrong. Negative feelings are easy. Where do you get these positive ones?