Relationship Where is the cut off point?

[Stitch77777]

So been seeing a woman a year and a half.

Won't lie been a little bit of a rollercoaster, ups and downs. What I do know though is I'm sure about her, love her to the core. She feels exactly the same as me about me.

I'd walk by her side through hell, support and love her through anything.

What I'm struggling with is the feeling of isolation, that she simply doesn't value the relationship, doesn't care.

Basically she has PMDD and PTSD. The PMDD is triggering the PTSD hard, she's basically isolated herself from me this last month, sabotaged the relationship in order to push me away. Got to the point we broke up.

She's really struggling right now. Kept me at a distance but still made it apart subtly but clearly she wants the relationship to continue.

I want to be there to support her but I can't as she's completely isolated herself from me.

I'm getting to the point that I can't come back from. Love her more than I've loved anyone, I think the feeling is mutual.


It sucks..... Really don't want it to come to the point I close the door on her , but it might be coming to that point.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I want to be there to support her but I can't as she's completely isolated herself from me.

I'm getting to the point that I can't come back from.

This is where you have to take a long hard look at yourself.

You have to decide what you need to be happy… and don’t just knee-jerk say her. Think about what you need in a relationship to feel loved and valued. What makes you happy? What are your deal breakers? Can you maintain the status quo for 50 years, because she may never be better than she is now.

Find your hard and soft lines, and be honest with yourself. Then look at what you’re working with, and make a decision.

You’re going to have to decide your future, because you cannot leave that up to somebody else, especially if they are mentally unwell. Stay or go… whatever, just make sure you are happy with the way things are.

 

[Friday]

Statistically? There are 4 major watershed in completely healthy/normal relationships. Not including the first few dates, but actual relationships.

6mo
2 years
3 years
7 years

At each of those points? Most relationships end. Of those that remain? Move on to the next point, and most of those relationships end.

- 6 months? The honeymoon is over, and people stop being on their best behavior.

- 2 years? People take a solid look at what they want their life to look like, and it isn’t this.

- 3 years? The “love” neurochem wears off, so if there isn’t a solid foundation beyond the “rush”? “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”

- 7 years? The potential… is gone. And you’re left with reality. VERY Similar to the 6mo breakup, but with harder lessons.

So you’re right on track to be breaking up sometime in the next 6mo… looking at a lifetime of exactly this. And that’s taking PTSD entirely off the table, and just looking at what you want the next 50 years to look like, your kids mom/dad to look like, your life to look like.

Adding in any kind of mental illness, health issue, or similar? Just INTENSIFIES the process.