Where's My Memory Gone! ?

[Changing4Best]

I've been dealing with memory loss quite badly for the last several months, and it was suggested to me by my nurse practitioner that it would be good to get an evaluation concerning this with my mental health clinic. She says that they do these evals there. I plan to ask my MD there about this next time I go for an appointment.

I asked my druggist if my meds could be causing this and he said yes and named two of them as possible culprits. Geodon was one and Lamotrigine was the other.

 

[RavenGirl]

@SheilaKathy , I'm not on any meds except Topimax for migraines. My memory was getting better as the migraines lessened. When the PTSD reared it's ugly head the memory started slipping at a rapid pace. I also had 2 other medical issues dropped on me last Dec. that didn't help. Stress I'm sure is playing a part, My T agreed.

 

[Knak]

I always had problems since a child and my parents called me spacey. I tend to freeze when scared so think that's part of it, i.e., dissociating and losing touch with reality.
Lately EMDR therapy affects me emotionally more deeply because I no longer have a fantasy but realize the truth about my past and present.
Negative incidents cause worse traumatic reactions as a result of this I believe, and my memory gets markedly worse each time something affects me traumatically. My nervousness and feeling I can't cope is increasing.
I could not remember what day it was after looking at the calendar several times, or the month or date, or if it was early in the month or late in the month. Sometimes I forget the season.
I have left for appts. an hour ahead of time by mistake. Usually I forget I have an appt. even an hour after acknowledging it.
Memory is different with different people and topics. If I am relaxed with someone safe I am fine.
I was tested for Alzheimers but they said it was only a baseline to compare to for future testing.
I have ADD and the medication loses its affectiveness over time. I am on klonopin and pain meds for an arthritis operation (trying to go off) and both reduce ADD medication's effectiveness.
My husband is a narcissist so my hyper-vigilance is constant and the abuse is unpredictable.
I am reading a research paper that says stress can cause neural disease in the frontal lobe that processes reactions to stimuli.
Constant cortisol from stress is destructive to the body. I am working on getting away from my husband but cannot make it on my own yet, so may never overcome these affects before I die.
Having no safe place or not feeling self worth with no one who values me has made me want to give up lately.

 

[RavenGirl]

@Knak Whatever you do, don't give up. Don't ever give up! ! You are worth it and one of there days you will find a way out from under the control of your husband. I believe this and you need to keep believing this too. ((Hugs))

 

[Ocean5]

I could not remember what day it was after looking at the calendar several times, or the month or date

Yes - I remember once beating my head against wall when relative told me it was Saturday. I thought it was Wednesday....

If I remember right benzos like Klonopin increase memory loss. Like you I want off it. I think it makes memory loss worse.

My husband is a narcissist so my hyper-vigilance is constant and the abuse is unpredictable.....
Having no safe place or not feeling self worth with no one who values me has made me want to give up lately.

Grew up with a parent like that. Makes you live on egg shells.

Getting away...have you called a crisis hotline? Maybe they could direct you to people offering rooms, or some new internet site designed to help people escape abusive relationships?

 

[VioletButterfly]

Thank you for posting this. I have been experiencing the same thing for many years now and considered the ALZ-dementia issue as well because my mom is now suffering with this. It's terrifying to consider. Also, depending upon the situation, the memory gaps can be very embarrassing - I'm forever forgetting names. A very wise colleague told me that my memory issues were just the stress of all that I was going though and I've tried to stay in that space with him, but I often still wonder because of my mom's condition. Hang in there. VB

 

[RavenGirl]

@VioletButterfly you hang in there too. :smug:

 

[Ronin]

I alternate between amnesia & hyper-recall, and various levels of both to D.I.D. issues at any given time.

Greatly depends if I'm currently in physically risky situations, or not. If I am, memory for things not needed at the moment tends to fly out of the window; what 'not needed at the moment' can be any depth of history. Forgot my children & exes I loved for years after having left them, similar fun stuff. Still something I'm semi-grieving over.

 

[RavenGirl]

I hate it when people say things that start with, "remember when. ..":eek: Or remember so and so,:tdown: I usually end up saying "no, but I'm sure you're going to tell me about it. " Sometimes it's embarrassing,:unsure: other times I say, my brain didn't think I needed to remember and I'm ok with that. Or I say, my husband remembers for me (little details about where we've been, etc) so I can remember the big things. It is what it is. :wacky:

 

[Ronin]

Relating to remembering for someone else, @RavenGirl. Tend to do that with buddies; I'll remember things for you, vitals and what not, you remind me who I am & want to be, fair share.

 

[Ocean5]

I hate it when people say things that start with, "remember when. ..":eek: Or remember so and so..

You're not the only one! Embarrassing is right. I even started acting like I did to try not to hurt some people's feelings, because I knew they were sensitive.

 

[JessNoOne]

Can so relate @RavenGirl
I feel like i say the same things over and over... and sometimes it's like my brain just won't make the connections and I have trouble conversing at all. I constantly forget things I've learned... movies I've seen. It's humiliating. I never thought before that it was related to the PTSD. I honestly hope that it isn't like this forever.
It isn't letting me post the video for whatever reason but if you've heard the song, "Where is my mind?" by the Pixies... That's the theme song to my life.