Poll Who Traumatized You

[silvershadow]

silvershadow....
iwas abandonnoned by my mother at 4. and put into a childrens home where iwas sexually abused by both male and females. then i went to a foster home at 6 . whare the abuse carried on until i was 17.i dont beleive they had any mental disorders as they were in the position of looking after children, me being one of them.
what did i do wrong to these people to get this abuse. it has affected all of my relationships and ive been diagnosed ptsd since i was 4years old. i blame myself each day and can hardley sleep at hight as the abuse happened then mostley.
i am married now to a wonderful person who tries her best god bless her, and four sons 22,20,28 and 7.for what i have suffererd in life god has blessed mre in other ways....

 

[Tinyflame]

I am sorry silvershadow.
Though I know it's hard to believe, you are NOT to blame.

Just be kind to yourself and enjoy some of those Blessings you mention, you deserve it most of all.

 

[Ami]

My ex-husband is the cause of my PTSD. He was diagnosed with Adult ADD, I don't know which type, but refused treatment of any kind. His words and actions are what continues to affect me today.

 

[ok4a56]

I am a police dispatcher, and have had 3 people commit suicide on the phone with me, and also have had 2 people shoot and kill someone while on the phone with me. I have witnessed a suicide (did not know the person) and have been dispatching during 3 Line of Duty Deaths.

 

[Sinead]

It was a stranger that traumatized me by his actions.

 

[phoenix_xiii]

My father was the abuser. He was very addicted to alcohol and cocaine during my abuse... he is sober now and "better" ie: not sexually or physically abusive, but he's still very manipulative and lies alot to make himself look like a victim.

 

[fin]

I am sorry I am not sure if I commented before, I am still unable to take part in this poll because I have more than one answer; more than one main trauma and more than one abuser. So for me this question is hard, and I am still not sure if I will know which trauma was the worst. I hope it is alright for me to be saying this here.

 

[becvan]

I'm in the same boat fin. I could pick at least half the answers or more myself. I also have no idea which is "the worst." Some are really bad, some are bad, and some just are! *shrugs* So I've never voted either.

bec

 

[upstream]

If you're feeling left out you can participate in part II or III of this poll:
[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread6907.html[/DLMURL]
[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread6983.html[/DLMURL]

I think at least one of them allows for more than 1 box to be checked. Otherwise don't worry about this one, I don't think I designed the poll appropriately anyway.

 

[Ursa]

silvershadow....

what did i do wrong to these people to get this abuse.

Nothing that a child does can validate abuse as that s/he is to blame. The abuser is always the one to blame.

I know it is hard to think differently, mainly when we have those mental notes that kept us alive. It is hard to go against those notes but it is possible. They don't serve anymore because we don't need the abusers care anymore.

Be kind to yourself.

 

[Surviving]

I was hoping to see abusive relative or significant other as a choice. I chose "Excluding Mental Illness, Person Seemed Deranged" because, although I don't know of any diagnosis for him, he was deranged. I'm certain he is a sociopathic narcissist with depression (my own diagnosis for him).

 

[supergirl]

I chose intoxicated/on drugs because the rape that is killing me the most right now was done to me when we both were wasted. He was my oldest friend and it was one of the most severe betrayals I have ever had. He did make a sort of amends to me a few years ago but since has said that he only said it to make me feel better so he still thinks he did nothing wrong. he's a prick rat ass bastard and I don't feel sorry for all the hell he has been through at all.