Why Are Forum Politics The Same Every Month?

[anthony]

Why is it I read the same nonsense from people every single month, on what they have told themselves, concluded, what this forum is about? Its a revolving argument on individuals constantly creating stories based on their opinion on what this forum stands for, what this forum is... when all this information has been said over and over again, it just needs to be read!

My Jan 24 response, obviously now Feb, so we must repeat the process each month: [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/that-time-of-year-again-yeh.14945/[/DLMURL]

Same response, different month.

 

[Iron_Angel]

SSDD?

Anthony wrote in the post cited above: "If things here offend you and upset you, then the site is serving its purpose as designed. This website is intentionally designed and structured to push you, not support you in a bubble and insulate you from reality."

Thank you, because I have certainly been getting that from this site. It's what I needed. I needed to learn about what my sufferer is going through and it hurts me to do so. I needed to learn what carers go through, and I'm feeling that pain.

I also needed to know that I wasn't alone, and that I had something to offer someone else that might be valuable. I tend to forget that all too often.

 

[anthony]

I don't know at times IA, whether those who come here wanting to live in an insulated bubble from reality, whether it pisses me off or actually I feel sad for them wanting to be that way... detached from reality and coming onto this site, then lashing out at staff, even members at times, because they are not catered. I just don't get the mentality or desire to want to continually be ill, then expect to have that mentality supported regardless where you turn for assistance.

There are sites around that are absolutely catering this... some sexual trauma sites have wrapped everyone up so tight in a blanket, with a false belief they are protected from the world, then all pour sympathy on one another and become angrier and angrier, all the while not really achieving much. I thought the point of self help was about getting in touch with the reality of the illness. PTSD unfortunately is just a really horrid illness that cannot be dealt with specific ways, it just doesn't work. If it was cancer or something like that, then it would be a nurturing, support approach because there is no requirement to push a person to heal cancer... it is out of their hands, you must support them, encourage them, etc.... PTSD, whole different beast.

Frustrated or sad for them... still unsure at times which I feel more for some individuals in this world.

 

[intothelight]

What this site is for me..................

1. A place where I can find information, from articles and posts, to learn more about PTSD and the means to understand, manage, and resolve issues/symptoms that have a negative impact on my quality of life.

2. A place where I have found support and guidance from other members who truly understand the struggles and the goals, and who work with me to overcome the struggles and achieve the goals.

3. A place where by reaching out and helping others, I have found purpose on days I felt I had no value; learned something about myself; and found hope.

4. A place where I have met some of the most amazing, strong, and genuinely wonderful people (even if they don't always think they are), who I am honored to call my friends.

 

[anni]

l think all of the above, plus something which struck me when I first joined. Some days it's just going to be awful, dreck is dreck, ugly is ugly, in my head-tools and all, doesn't seem to be a lot one can do about it and it's going to be a matter of getting to the next day, as well as possible that's all. BUT- that that is ok, because the next day might possibly be there for me. Sounds dramatic, yes, and do not mean to.

Insulated? Hardly. Yes, one does not find things 'wrapped up in clean linen' here. Still, you find comfort in the people who have strength, courage, compassion, hope and gosh- humour 'despite' not ducking the ugliness. Amazing to me.

 

[Learning123]

Anthony, you mentioned in another post... "This website is about exposing members who have PTSD to real life, to their trauma, to rid them from denial, to bring the truth forward, to bring them towards reality." (I apologise I don't know how to quote properly from another thread).

Having looked up exposure therapy online I found this "The technique involves the creation of a program of steadily escalating steps or challenges (a Method of Factors), which can be explicit or implicit, that work towards a final goal representing a 'non-phobic' behavior. The patient then voluntarily moves through the steps with a means of terminating each step which is under voluntary control."

For me there are two things that stand out from that, 1) the technique involves the creation of a program of steadily escalating steps and challenges; and 2) the patient voluntarily moves throught the steps...

The reactions (you call lashing out) that you received seemed to me to be when members on this site are exposed to something that they weren't prepared or ready for, and that is why I think it upsets so many people. Perhaps a bit too much too soon. I don't suffer from PTSD, but I am undergoing exposure therapy for something else, and it is gradual and at my own pace. I think that a lot of the conflict on this site then results from the fact that people express their distress and then feel as though they aren't being heard.

Just my opinion, I don't want to stir all this up, but it would be great to see everyone sharing the love again :-)

 

[catjudo]

1) the technique involves the creation of a program of steadily escalating steps and challenges; and 2) the patient voluntarily moves throught the steps...

The way for a member to ensure this is to be responsible for their own self and use this forum as one tool in their program toward healing. They can make it as little or as much as they need/want by self-limiting how much time they spend here or what they choose to read.

 

[Iron_Angel]

The reactions (you call lashing out) that you received seemed to me to be when members on this site are exposed to something that they weren't prepared or ready for, and that is why I think it upsets so many people.

I think some of the things we read here do stir us up, or evoke feelings of anger, frustration, helplessness, etc., and because it's a safe environment -- online anonymity -- we can give vent to our feelings at the moment we feel them, which is often not the case in real life.

They can make it as little or as much as they need/want by self-limiting how much time they spend here or what they choose to read.

That's the key. We need to be responsible and not let ourselves be overwhelmed by the wealth of material and comment that is here. Unfortunately, when we're feeling low worth, we might punish ourselves by wallowing in the pain. I certainly do that, though I have been getting a bit better. I tend to keep it all inside, whereas others reflect it back outwards. Either way, there is a lot of help here, and I appreciate it.

 

[Learning123]

Catjudo, I see what you are saying and with much of the forum, I totally agree, every member chooses to read what they read, and so on, totally fair point. On the other hand there have been instances (and I'm not going there again) where members were exposed to images as soon as they entered the website. From what I can gather this upset quite a few people, for me (someone who doesn't suffer from PTSD) it was quite a shock, and that is the kind of exposure that I personally believe should be more controlled and at the individual's pace.

And yes, you can't please everyone, you can't worry about how every single thing will make people feel, goodness there would be no website otherwise, my point is that when people expressed their distress, it was met with a reaction that perhaps hurt them and made them feel upset and unheard.Ya know, I mean when you stand on someone's toe and they scream, you move your foot pretty quick right, you don't want them to hurt.

I hope I've explained myself clearly, apologies if not.

 

[amethist]

Learning123

If you read this thread, you would know that it was the members themselves who kept the images where they were. No one else to blame at the time than themselves. In other word they were not taking responsibility of what they were doing at the time.

[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/issues-with-images-in-the-article-section.14674/#post-183858[/DLMURL]

Can we please now end the debate on this. it was put to rest in the thread mentioned.

Amethist

 

[Learning123]

Like I said Amethist, I'm not going to go there again, but yes I did read the thread, and I disagree that it was the members who kept it there, they simply had nowhere else to voice their opinion as the thread opened to 'debate' it was closed down quite quickly.

I'm not trying to bring up old issues, but Anthony has opened this thread with a very clear question, and from someone who read everything that happened at the time, I am giving my opinion and answering his question, after all the point is that we are allowed opinions, that is mine.

L123

 

[Nicolette]

L123 I am sorry but disagree with you.

1. You are going there again by bringing it up
2. When it was under the recent format it was kept there my members as the software worked so that the most responded to article rotated to the front - a non debatable fact
3. I was the one who opened the thread to give members a chance to voice their opinion on it & it wasn't 'shut down'. A decision was made and the topic was no longer up for debate - Anthony's decision - his forum. I don't always agree with his decisions but respect them. He has been running one of the most successful PTSD forums for coming up to 6 years now so he's doing something right.
4. You gave your opinion which you have a right to. Unfortunately what that opinion relates to is out of your control for change yet you continue to re-iterate your stance. Sometimes you can't win all battles sorry. I have heard what you have said more than once but the decision stands. Your choices are, avoid the homepage (which has had a format change so the picture doesn't appear like it did making your argument a mute point), use the forum to your advantage & accept there will be things in life you don't like, continue using your energy for something you have no control over or use your energy on using the forum to assist you.