Why being ignored makes me HYSTERICAL!

[Sideways]

Mod Note:
@silverlinings1069 - temp banned. Take some time out.

 

[beansj]

i think your friend is not handling it well. If she feels bad, stop stringing you along.

I feel bad when people don’t respond to me because usually they are ghosting me. I have abandonment issues.

But then again I’m bad at texting sometimes because I could be having a massive flashback

I guess it’s all relative.

 

[Beth W.]

I just read about this 20 minutes ago. Holy cow YES! But it did state for "stupid things". Does someone not letting you know they are busy while you wait and wait and wait a "stupid thing"? What counts as a "stupid thing" or am I getting caught up in the words? When does a person's behavior become something that I am allowed to get upset about and address? Is it just my hypersensitivity? I have no clue!! I have never been taught this or even been made aware until just recently that I was like this or that it was even a thing. I am now addressing it with the people in my life but even with them - what is acceptable and what isn't? What is my role? How am I supposed to act? I do not understand the "rules" for friendships, romantic partners, etc. and communicating.

You’re reaction was justified and not at all too sensitive. You should be able to feel and be treated with basic respect. You’re “friend” pulled that crap on you TWICE, back to back. If it was a one time thing, then yeah, maybe don’t jump to conclusions or whatever but patterns aren’t mistakes, and I’m assuming these aren’t the only times it’s happened with this friend?

If you have not talked with her about it, I’d give it a shot, bc that’s your responsibility to make the offense known. However, if you have tried talking to her about it before and she continues to be disrespectful/inconsiderate and untrustworthy, she’s not a friend, she’s a leech.

OP, I also want to add that I think it’s stellar that you are aware of your trauma and possible overreactions! However, at the same time, try not to gaslight yourself accidentally, where you feel like BECAUSE you have trauma, that that somehow means that you are always overreacting, (vs. maybe sometimes you are over sensitive BUT maybe other times you see something that is actually as bad as it seems bc, in a way, I feel like trauma survivors are also experts at seeing the more covert and well-camouflaged mistreatments, bc we are the most experienced). I personally struggle to not talk myself out of what I’m experiencing by blaming my trauma - but with each time where I end up being right, (which has been about 95% of the time), I gain confidence that I am actually seeing things as they are.

Maybe you don’t find yourself struggling with those things, and if not, please disregard! I just wanted to encourage you to not always doubt yourself simply bc you know you have trauma - bc your body remembers a lot bc that’s where trauma is stored.