Why can't i remember what i did today?

[nonabug5]

I am so frustrated with myself. My memory is getting worse instead of better. It is becoming a common thing to have to stop and seriously concentrate so I can remember what I did this morning,..... or 2 hours ago.
I forget conversations & phone calls from earlier in the day. What's that about?

I am trying so hard to stay focused from moment to moment, fighting off the sights and sounds in my head. Why can't I forget those memories? I am in therapy, but feel like I am chasing a parked car. I just don't know what to do with all this stuff running through my brain. Just the thought of going to sleep brings a dread because I know the nightmares are waiting. I've been in therapy for a year now on this go round. Although I do take meds, I am not zoned out, I just cannot remember. Is anyone else doing this?????

 

[ga yankee]

I know if you do a search there have been other posts about this topic. Racing thoughts take up so much of your brain that memory becomes a problem. I swear I forget to pee sometimes. Lists ....very detailed lists are your best friend. Racing thoughts about the trauma are natural so I suggest learning breathing and meditation stuff. Not just the 30 min lay on the floor kind but tricks to settle your brain and give you a break for a few minutes. A few times a day really helps. For me, I try to concentrate on one thing at a time. Cleaning one room at a time, doing all the laundry and then moving to all the dishes. Just simple steps.

 

[warrior]

I have the same challenge. I find for myself practicing mindfulness exercises very useful. Although the principle seems simple: one thing at a time, the actual practice goes far more beyond this. I learn it from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. There are groups around for this at mental health clinics and hospitals. Highly recommended for PTSD sufferers.

 

[linasmom]

Hi nonabug,

There are several threads on here regarding this very topic, tons of us suffer from this memory issue. Let me see if I can find some for you...

[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread8288.html[/DLMURL]

[DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread7074.html"]Memory & Time Issues, Past and Present[/DLMURL]


I hope this helps.

Best,
Rachel

 

[nonabug5]

Rachel,
I read the refrences you gave me. Your's was ironically close to my circumstances.

It's so crazy. I know I ate a hamburger while in town today at lunch & yet I could not remember which location I was at when I bought the food just a couple of hours later when my hubby asked where I went. I knew I bought it as I had the wrapper & receipt. That was my only clue other than I know I ate the darn thing.

It is just one more brick on the pile. I seem to be constantly fighting off flashbacks and dissassociative episodes, that I am missing everything else.
It is a constant, minute to minute, struggle to not lose control.
I sent a friend a B-day card and when I saw her she was telling me how the message I wrote really applied to her circumstance. The only problem is that I have no clue what I wrote in the card, - or even what the card looked like. I only mailed it 4 days ago......

I guess that I am thinking about what to do to not flip out so much that I am not paying attention to what I am doing. I am dumbstruck at the end of the day and do not know where I have been. That just makes me feel more out of control, so I try harder, etc... and the circle never ends.

Thanks, Tracie:crazy:

 

[2quilt]

Are you sleeping long enough and getting good quality sleep? Insomnia can short out your brain, I know.

 

[Irton Pike]

I have had loads of memory problems. It has seriously affected my work and led to me being repeatedly attacked for forgetting to perform fairly trivial tasks like sending emails. The one step at a time method of dealing with a mountain of tasks is really good fo0r me but not easy.

I have started by writing down a "to do" list, nigh on every day. I then work out which jobs can be ignorded. i.e. Jobs on the to do list, are moved over to the "don't do today" list as they don't need doing as much as some other stuff. This is really the most important bit, because, for me, it means i can exert some control over my professional
life which has been lacking of late due to my ex boss attacking me due to PTSD.


It all sounds so simple but it isn't!

 

[UmightKnowMe]

Another 'AHA' moment. My husband is frequently upset with me saying "Don't you LISTEN to a thing I say?" when we are talking. I might ask him a question or something and he will say that he knows he told me about it the day before or something. I try VERY hard to listen to him! Sometimes I do zone out because he can be longwinded, but I think I catch what's important. Also if we are driving and he gives me a long list of directions like "go til Rt. 10 and then go west until Hwy. 77 and then north until Rt. 1...." I will just stop even trying to remember and say "Just tell me which one is next and then after that tell me the next one, I can't keep all that straight." He acts like I am stupid or something when I say this.

NOW I understand! I KNOW I am not stupid...but when this stuff happens I sure feel like I am. But it is cuz a big part of my brain is occupied with this PTSD crap. Like when I have too many windows open on my computer and the virtual memory wont let me open another one.

 

[nonabug5]

I am keeping a notebook with me & constantly documenting my movements and phone conversations. It is so strange to realize I have had conversations that I later know nothing about. I do not remember anything happening to cause me to dissassociate, but apparently I am doing it regularly.

The notebook makes me feel less crazy when someone makes reference to earlier events, even if I don't actually remember them. Only because, If I wrote anything at all in regard to them, I can summize they actually happened. Sometimes , it is only one word. When the Flashbacks hit, anything goes. I feel like a kindergarden student on the first day of school,... I have my name & address pinned to my shirt and constant reminders of what I have done or what I am suppose to do next. I have only been doing this for a few days & have not worked up the strength to venture out of my comfort zone, but at least I have some sort of record of part of my day.

Trac

 

[jeapea]

Notebooks... yes... lots of them... and write down details. I don't know where I'd be if not for all these 'journals'. Just don't forget to keep lots and lots of pens around, too! And tie one onto the notebook. I hate it when I need to write something down but can't remember where I put the writing utensil.....

 

[TLight]

I just finished a book on DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder. Severe memory lapses could be a sign of other identities taking over. Something to think about, don't want to scare anyone, but it could be an effect of severe abuse.

 

[Salu]

Write and at least try to have regular sleep pattern. For example I always have a sheet of paper and pens on my table at home and everything important is shortly written there. For example - piano Sunday 10.15
- bank 18.10.08
- Monday 8.00 doc etc. etc.

Your everyday things really don´t make that long of a list but they are under your eyes and sometimes it is helpful. So yeah, basically get yourself a good notebook, nice one. Just don´t let it become an obsession like mine is. :wall: