Why Couldn't She Think Of This?

[The Albatross]

It just jumped out at me.

 

[Deleted member 34535]

Thank You Albatross. That is more than fair from where you sit. But you only know what little I have shared. There is much, much, much more. So in knowing what I know to be FACT, it was more than fair of me to infer the interpretation that I did. But I do understand how it may have jumped out on you, based solely on what you do know. Thank you. I appreciate your input.

 

[Deleted member 34535]

My overarching point here was very simple. It is a crying shame when people of their own free will make a conscious choice to take the rage, pain, and anger out on other innocent people. They do so because they are just boiling over with rage and anger. And when they are in such a state, there will be no logical thinking and decision making that takes place. And yes., I say they do so of their own free will. Someone knows whether this is true or not. If you doubt me, look at your late, local news, your cable news, your local paper, etc. It is chock full of examples of those that are full of rage that decide to lay their rage and anger on others. I believe they had options that were much more peaceful. One thing that is undeniable, IT'S A DAMN SHAME!!!

 

[GrayOwl]

Agreed with that last post crc.
As for life, yes, we all have choices. Each of us.
We can harbor anger, pain, and seek to expend that as revenge, anger, and resentment.
Even if it is "justified" the choice to carry negative thoughts and actions is not good for us(or others).
Laying the track, or "steering the boat" away from those paths is a tall task sometimes.
One that requires I work hard and listen to those who would provide me wise counsel, as best as I can allow myself.
From Abe Lincoln, I believe:
"A man is only as happy as he allows himself to be."
Some truth to that for me. When I harbor anger and turmoil, I don't allow myself happy.
And I can become the disharmony that I resent.

 

[Sideways]

With my trauma history I have pretty good reason to hate men.
By your logic, I should just (somehow) "become a lesbian" and get over it.

What's the weather like on the planet you live on?

 

[Neverthesame]

Look at all of the hurt, pain, and devastation that would have been averted if the very simple solution of becoming a lesbian and following her career goals would have been followed.

You are looking at this through the benefit of hindsight. If your bright eyed and bushy tailed mother was aware of the abuses she had coming to her. Do you really think she would have just happily walked into that life?

I've known quite a few homosexual men and women over the years, and I have never met one that actually had a choice about which gender they were sexually attracted to.

The closest I have ever seen to what you are suggesting was a person who went from straight to lesbian and back again, a few times I was aware of. Though this was not a change in their preference, but a result of this person trying to figure out which gender they were most comfortable being.

I'm sorry, but it just doesn't work that way.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

"Well you know CRC, rapes and things just happen in society." Kind of like saying,"You know you were a little toddler, you should have just enjoyed it."

No its not. One is fact and one is your interpretation of that fact. "Well you know CRC, rapes and things just happen in society." Yep, they sure just do. One in 3 before they're 18. Sure as hell do. Does that mean she was saying "just" as in "it just happens so just get over it", I dont know, I wasnt there nor were you or I in her head when she said it. Not the first time one was miss understood in person and sayings things using bad wording. Are you wrong? Nope nor right. Just laying out facts.

Here you had a woman who hated males.

Has she ever told you "I hate males"? Could this also your interpretation or assumption?

The solution is so simple it isn't funny. You Hate with a passion males. The simple solution in my opinion was to just become a lesbian and follow your career paths. To me, that is just such a simple solution to her a complex set of problems.

First this is full of your own interpretation and assumptions, not facts. Most of my abuse was done by males, Im terrified of females but my sexual preference is males. Sexual preference has zero to do with trauma. Zero, ziltz, none.

I ask like many, how do you "become lesbian"? It isnt possible, I tried.

logic will almost always win the day.

Except there is no logic here.

Was there a question in there or are you just venting?

 

[digger]

the very simple solution of becoming a lesbian and following her career goals would have been followed. Logic is the only thing that will win the day

Sexuality isn't determined by such logic though. You don't just decide it in that way. Curious to know if you believe you could change your own sexuality purely by making the 'logical' decision to?

 

[joeylittle]

It is a crying shame when people of their own free will make a conscious choice to take the rage, pain, and anger out on other innocent people. They do so because they are just boiling over with rage and anger. And when they are in such a state, there will be no logical thinking and decision making that takes place. And yes., I say they do so of their own free will.

This is true. It's a shitty thing. People do it, they do it of their own volition, and it's probably way up there (in my mind) as one of the most frightening things about the human race.

I am thinking if you hate males, maybe it wouldn't be that tough to love a female.

This is not so true. People have said it already - it's just not how it works. If you're bi, you probably can't do this thought experiment - but if you're not, just try (in your mind) to become sexually aroused by whichever gender isn't your current turn-on....it's really hard to do.

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm finding your post to be a bit offensive.

Attraction to a certain sex isn't about hating the other sex. It never has been and never will be.

Actually, this perpetuates the stereotype of the man-hating lesbian which isn't accurate in the least.

I'm not sure if this profound misunderstanding is a defense mechanism. I think acceptance would take you much farther than these "easy peasy lemon squeezy" types of "solutions" (which are actually far fetched IMHO)------that in effect make it sound like "all so and so had to do was _______ and things would be fine!" Well, you can chase down these imaginary "what if"'scenarios to your hearts content but I don't think it'll bring you any peace or healing.

 

[Deleted member 34535]

You are looking at this through the benefit of hindsight. If your bright eyed and bushy tailed mot...

I personally know a couple of people who have done just what I have stated and are quite successful, happy, wonderful individuals. It may not be the majority, but it does happen and to their benefit. I personally do not have a problem with whom someone chooses to love. Love is love. I knew a male gay couple who were the nicest, fine people anyone would want to meet. And they weren't fine and nice people because they were gay. They were just nice, fine individuals who made a lovely couple. One perished and the other perished soon after I believe from a broken heart.

 

[illusionist]

I have known a few people who did what you stated....basically went against what they felt and appeared heterosexual because they felt they did not have the choice, because of society.

We do not always see the inner turmoil both for the person, and their partner.

I have known of a couple who had an open relationship, both gay, but we're never intimate with each other. It was a relationship based on financial security, and friendship. One did fall in love with someone, and moved on.