Why Did The Abusive Ex...

[J_trustno1]

Wow, thanks everyone for helping me get out of this shit. I have been feeling a lot better ever since I wrote this thread and the information all of you have provided has actually helped me a lot with my "why" questions. Thread was a critical reflection and thanks all for helping me out. I'm over that jerk. I deserve someone better and I am now focusing on myself instead of focusing on him and wasting my energy. He really isn't worth it. He will not change because he has a sick attitude towards women, he is insecure and jealous type of guy and I'm pretty sure his father never treated his mother with respect.

I'm glad that you guy have helped me realise all this and showed me that I am better than such douche.

Thanks everyone :hug:s :hug:s :)

 

[aut555]

Fantastic, l am so proud of you, this is a big maturing moment that even adults never get too. Lol

 

[aut555]

Sorry, my post didn't make sense. What l meant was if there were five guys or ten guys, the odds of them being undesirable is rather high. Men in general, don't seem to have a lot of respect for woman these days. I wonder if it's because we are now in competition for the same jobs. And the amount of woman entering college is more then half now. So men are feeling displaced in society as a whole.

 

[EveHarrington]

Sorry, my post didn't make sense. What l meant was if there were five guys or ten guys, the odds of them...

I read somewhere that men are no longer being taught to respect women. Old school manners are long gone.

 

[Gs172003]

I read somewhere that men are no longer being taught to respect women. Old school manners are lon...

Part of that is some women actually get offended by it. I have no clue why.

 

[Sideways]

The search for genuine equality, I think, has a long way to go and leaves a lot of people confused about what's appropriate. It's actually natural and healthy for men to see women as potential intimate partners and vice versa.

Personally, I think a lot of people end up a bit flummoxed about how to approach that, but give women equal respect at the same time, difficult to navigate. And I think that confusion is amplified during the mid-teen to late-20s period where sex is naturally on the brain a lot of the time for a lot of peole. At a basic level, it's prime breeding time. And pulling off that natural instinct, while balancing equality and respect in a meaningful sense, it something it takes people time to figure out. And we make mistakes.

But in situations like this, it's well outside that confusing grey area. The guy sexually abused you, and your life has so much ahead that he simply doesn't need to feature in.

 

[Cannottakethis]

I dated and married 2 men like this. None of it was your fault. And I can tell you there were plenty of smiling pics of me and either one of these losers where I was dying on the inside. Times where we'd be out and I'd think about just running to get away from the boyfriend. And both of these men tried to stay in contact with me. There's a book where they compare these men to vampires, looking to feed. We were their primary supplier, and they like to keep us around just in case.
As for him parading the new girl, it's probably because he knows it hurts you and he gets off on that. My ex did stuff like that; mind games all the time. But like @EveHarrington said, abusers are abusers. They don't change, and no matter how rosy their life appears to be, I'll bet you it's not. Your best bet is to eradicate him from your existence. Don't see his friends, if people start to talk about him, stop them and tell them you aren't interested in hearing about him anymore. Get rid of anything that reminds you of him and move on.

 

[EveHarrington]

Part of that is some women actually get offended by it.

Weird.

I mean manners and respect are universal. I am a woman and I try to respect men. And women.

I think it's crazy to be offended when shown respect.

 

[Friday]

I think it's crazy to be offended when shown respect.

Like by talking to your husband instead of to you? That's a sign of respect. To you. As a woman. And, yet? Most western women are offended by it. Take it as a sign of disrespect, instead. They want to be shown respect by being spoken to directly. Shrug. Different cultures. Often opposite ideas as to what is considered respectful. Meeting ones eyes or not? Opening doors or not? Et cetera in a major way.

"Is it sexist to hit you? Is it sexist not to hit you? I'm so confused!" -Deadpool (in fighting scene with women in it).

 

[Gs172003]

Weird.

I mean manners and respect are universal. I am a woman and I try to respect men. And wom...

There was a DJ on the radio the other day that said he held the door for a woman and she got mad. Rediculous.

 

[Gs172003]

Like by talking to your husband instead of to you? That's a sign of respect. To you. As a woman. And, ye...

When in Rome.

 

[Ronin]

When in Rome.

Not everyone's Roman, still. Or, well, Italian, since we'd go current era geo on that saying.

What's courtesy to one can still well be darned insulting or worse to another, we're different people.