Why do i find it so hard to ask for help???????????

[Deleted member 12723]

Knowing when it is safe to ask for help is helpful. It depends on the situation and the people involved. There is so much to learn about taking better care of oneself and having good boundaries in place with lots of practice in having them.

I can now ask safe people for help and when I am desperate my common sense goes out the window in accordance to how great my need is and who to go for help. Always being mindful that others may not be available to help out. Others have their own boudaries which is good to respect them also.

Last winter I was really sick for a very long time and I needed someone to go food shopping for me and although it was so very hard I did ask a friend to go for me and she did. I gave her the money I owed her and she also took me to a hospital the couple of times I got really sick to. I struggle with not wanting her to feel used by me or imposed upon. I have also asked for help from a neighbor too. I did not know him very well but we have become friends who look out for each other now and check on each other but I had to go through a ton of hell in the learning process and I would prefer not to ask but sometimes because I live alone I have to depend on others help.

It is hard and I hope you are able to find the way that best works for you during your life experiences. Good luck.

 

[Ms Priss]

Today went very well. The therapist was gracious and was able to give my sister a pretty basic outline of trauma and where I am at. She also gave her some DBT handouts which we have been working on albeit slowly because I see her two times a month and with the holidays some time was missed. She said once I get more stabilized we will not be doing EMDR because she does't think it is a good fit...she named the therapy we will be using, but I cannot recall the name...thought it was good to just get through the appt.!!!!!! She also emphasized things will briefly get much worse for awhile when we start that. we outlined a safety plan in case it is needed.

I am to resume going to a day program 3 days a week...not to focus so much on the content of the program but to work on breaking the severe isolation and getting used to being around people again. I am willing to do that.

Actually I was kinda impressed because she remembered so much of what I had said in prior appts....I have had some who barely remember anything. She is the supervisor/coordinator of the outpatient programs. She said she is going to be cutting back on seeing clients, but reassured me she would keep me on as a client which I so very much appreciate. She also cautioned me to keep my ideas of recovery within reason and doable.

My sister and I did not discuss much after the appt....I do not know what she absorbed or understood...she just said she learned a lot, and I thought that was a good place to leave it at this time...I guess I just appreciate the fact she went with me.

So, anyway, just thought I'd let y'all know!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the support!!!!!!!!!!!