Why Do Kids Have to Know About PTSD? - Maybe More a Vent

[Deleted member 93]

Evie, your day will come. And you will be a better mom or step and woman for it. You will have learned what really matters and pass it on. One day... You will find the right man and he will be blessed with you.

 

[batgirl]

Well thanks I hope you're right veiled, but I'm not holding my breath.

 

[jade]

When growing up I always swore that I would never say this or do that to my own children. Yet I find at times that i will say something to the kids that my dad has said to me. As soon as I realize what I've done I become angry at myself for following the footsteps of someone I swore I wouldn't. It doesn't happen very often thank the Lord but when they do it always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Thankfully my mom has always been there and is a strong support. The values she taught me are invaluable even if I have a hard time finding them.

 

[hannah]

Veiled I did say I did not want to offend you and I stand by that. I did not envisage any of the dire situations you reported. Just had a vision from your post and commented.
I am sure you are very proud of your kids you have been a success there evident by what you say. I am sorry if my post seemed to upset you and although I am very proud of my children I dont profess to be a perfect mum either. Parenting is a personal thing and is the hardest job as it changes all the time. Always wanting to protect them from the world and its' sister.

I just picked up on your sadness and was trying to be sympathic not condesending. I am new to this PTSD and its understanding and I admire the way you support the people on this forum.
I am grateful for the infomation and if I get the chance I know I will be in for a long haul with my husband who I am convinced is showing symptoms if not of full blown PTSD but definatley depression, short term memory loss, anger and murky eyes.

If nothing else veiled this indeed has shown how a comment has been made, and caused anger. sorry

 

[Nam]

Jade, you are not the only one that has had an epiphany moment when frustrated with children. I have to. Not only the words that are coming out of my mouth, but the harshness of how I say them are reminiscent of the way my mother used to say things to me. My husband has an issue with shouting in anger, he's just like his dad. We both know our faults on this and we are both working on that. I do hug my children many times a day and tell them I love them. Tell them they are beautiful. And tell the many things that they do that make me proud. All things my mother never did. I do think that mothers that have suffered during childhood can make wonderful parents. We are compassionate, more understanding, and never take anything for granted.

 

[jade]

Hug my children. It sounds so easy. Once in a great while I can hug my kids. Not enough. For me or them. I have a big fear of someone getting close to me. Yes sad to say it includes my kids. I feel like a failure. I get angry at myself, I mean these are my kids I know they aten't going to hurt me why can't I allow myself and them that little luxury?

 

[Nam]

In time and healing jade, you'll get there. Not to just hug them but really enjoy it too.

 

[jade]

Thanks for the positve. I look desperatly for that day to dawn.

 

[Deleted member 93]

I agree with Nam, it is hard when you pop off something out of reaction and you realize you just said something that is exactly what was said to you a million times and you wish you could kick yourself for it, all you can do is apologize which is more than we got and try like the devil not to repeat what has been etched in our minds (practice practice). Jade, with healing you will be able to open and let people in, you are already. Including your kids.

 

[jade]

So do we actually change the conditioning we recieved as a child or do you just go with the flow?

 

[Deleted member 93]

We learn to break the cycle. We know how well it did us so we change. But at times of high stress it can slip. We have to learn to take that step back and not respond, let it soak in and think before we speak. That 10 second rule. It becomes easier with healing.

 

[jade]

Change is good. Wow does that feel good to say. I have to remember to breath. I understand what you are saying.