Why don’t I cry when talking about my SA?

[Brownie3]

it may be dissociation. i typically don't cry when i talk about things that happened with me either. but it does come out. especially as the more that you begin to process it and not just name it. the meaning of things. the impact of things. how it effects your current life. your family. that type of thing. how ever the idea of that you should be feeling or reacting in any way is a fallacy. as long as you are not hurting others or your self your reactions are just fine. and you will come to the feelings in your own way. on your own time.

Thank you. I can sooo relate!

 

[Rumors]

I don't cry either which makes the whole thing feel fake... judgment on my part, but I can't cry. I am not a big crier anyway. I didn't really cry when my mom died although I was incredibly sad and devastated. I still don't cry. The only thing that makes me cry is if something happens to my son, or I feel vulnerable about something to do with him. I get it. It sucks. It feels like a good cry could fix a few things but no tears come... hang in there!!

 

[coraxxx]

I cry when I become frustrated or enraged. More rarely when I'm sad. Sadness is there, it sort of starts but then it blocks. And it stays there, very disagreeable. Sometimes I try to think of sad stuff just to trigger it but it won't work mostly. But it just catches me in silly films or something, when it's rehearsed emotion?

 

[Tinyflame]

I think after a lifetime tears are useless. There is a hole, what else is there to say? To cry for others is one thing, to cry for myself is who knows? Not going to stop? I've never felt better after crying, even privately. Only hollow and a sore face and really sad.

 

[Mee]

You say you ‘should’ cry. Why? I feel crying is fair and justified and ok , but it’s also ok not to cry. You might cry as you progress in therapy . You might be cried out about it.

you are hopefully safe now and have body autonomy and no one gets to tell you what your body should do.

one of the problems we often have is people - including ourselves- expect victims to behave in a certain way. well- people aren’t robots. We often brace ourselves through the worst experiences and refuse to enjoy the best ones because feeling is scary.

 

[ladee]

Like so many have shared, it was dangerous to cry. So I learned not to. And I had held things in for so long that I had a lot of fear about finally letting it out. Like I was going to disintegrate if I let the feelings go.

We put too much pressure on ourselves to do or say what 'should' be done or said. I was so shut down emotionally, I'll never forget the first time I actually felt the wind on my skin!!!! I was like a little kid that had discovered ice cream!!! And that was physical, not emotional!!

It takes time, patience with ourselves, hopefully a patient and understanding therapist to feel safe enough to cry.

Last year because of a recent trauma, I cried every single day for hours upon hours. It was exhausting. This year, I am back to numb. I don't know how all this works physically. I have PTSD and that monster rules my life some days. I'll cry again when it's there. I can't make myself cry.

I'm so detached and constant dissociation now that tears can't find a way to be expressed. But I'm not being hard on myself. It will happen when it happens.

Hope you are seeing that there is nothing WRONG with you. Most of us completely understand. You aren't alone.

 

[Tinyflame]

Last year because of a recent trauma, I cried every single day for hours upon hours. It was exhausting. This year, I am back to numb. I don't know how all this works physically. I have PTSD and that monster rules my life some days. I'll cry again when it's there. I can't make myself cry.

That's exactly how I feel too @ladee .

Hugs to all (if ok).

 

[Taylor27]

I hardly ever cry when I talk about the SA. I grew up knowing that there would be a punishment for crying so it's very hard to let my emotions go. I think as I learn that it's safe and i begin to trust my therapist more it will happen. I also have been so numb for years and allot to process yet. I think it's okay to not cry and maybe it will happen when you least expect to and feel a huge relief. Hugs if ok