Why Is It Important That Those Around You Understand Your Ptsd?

[Xbreed]

I believe the recent decision for me to open up about my PTSD is simply that the weight I have carried around for most of my life, has become so very heavy that I felt it was time for those that I truly care about, needed to understand that there are reasons for my actions. because as my wife pointed out to me, (that f*cken wall you surround yourself with, makes it dam near impossible for anyone that wants to care, to do so!!

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

This is good you guys. So far, I see "to be taken care of", "to be forgiven", "to get unconditional love", to be understood for actions", "to be accepted", "to be validated", "to be myself", "to have permission to draw boundaries", "to be not thought of as crazy", "so that they don't worry", "to not be minimized", "to not be invalidated", etc.


For anyone struggling to answer, like those whose trauma came from childhood, the best way to get to the truth of something is to pretend you are six years old and then answer this question.

 

[The Albatross]

I do not expect people to understand my PTSD. It is welcome when they do, but not required. Even my marital relationship, my spouse hasn't seen fit to study up. But I'm okay with that. My PTSD, my problem. Triumph over adversity is the thing I want. I actually like interacting with others and dealing with challenging situations where people don't know I have PTSD. 1/3rd do, 2/3rds don't.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

I know you don't expect them to.

If there was ever a situation where someone wanted to understand, why would it be important to you that they understand?

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I think that's a pretty comprehensive list you have there already. I could add "to communicate on a deeper level, or come close to somebody", and "to be helped and supported".

 

[The Albatross]

Flummoxed by the question so will withdraw. It does not occur to me nor is it beneficial for me in any way to entertain this line of thinking. Because my fundamental core belief is it isn't important that people understand. The only thing that matters if if I understand myself.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

You got it Albatross. I just thought it might be important for some of us who might not be in that place yet to examine why it is we think we need those things. ;)

 

[The Albatross]

One word that has served me well: boundaries

Two words that have served me well: Time and consistency - also - autonomy and independence

5 words that have served me well: Practice, patience, perseverance, persistence and prayer (the optional 5th "p" for the secular).

 

[Hope4Now]

For anyone struggling to answer, like those whose trauma came from childhood, the best way to get to the truth of something is to pretend you are six years old and then answer this question

At 6 years: So someone will save me from my parents. I cannot do it alone.
At 50 years: So someone will help me save myself from myself. I cannot do it alone.

 

[The Albatross]

I think Hope4Now, I would refute the "I cannot do it alone", as in 40 plus years... the someone is you.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I don't seek understanding. I seek acceptance.

 

[Tinyflame]

It isn't important to me that others understand my ptsd. But it is important to me if they take my behaviour or reactions as inferring something personally is wrong or lacking with them, when it is not.

That being said, I think being understood makes for a better quality of life. Since I can only be 'me'.