Why Is Sex So Painful??

[Pukasug]

The sex with my ex-partner hurt almost every time. He was one of my abusers. I thought everything was wrong with me. It turns out, I just didn't want it. My partner now is so kind and loving. It almost never hurts. All of my pain was from friction, not being turned on. It wasn't a disease...in my case.

 

[Wasip]

Rule out medical causes- I assumed that sex was just supposed to hurt for years until I went to get checked out and started to get treatment for a condition that likely resulted from my abuse.

If you have ruled out medical causes then it could be to do with your beliefs and fears about sex (having a long history of penetration being painful leads to you tensing up and making penetration painful) or could be psychosomatic. That doesn't mean it's not real. And it's something you can gradually start to work on. But it's really important to first make sure you're not dealing with a medical condition of some sort.