Why Waste My Time And Resources?

[sonicwhite]

Me being me, church and I don't know why it took so long to sink in. Maybe because I fear being judged at church but church is where I will find a date. Not saying that that is the sole reason to go to church but around where I live there are many baptist and not really any other. I was raised Pentecostal and I know they freaked me out too at one time.


I think I can say something like this. I'm in between jobs and I'm just trying to make friends or hear the word of God. I'm not trying to jump into anything. And I found out God is not going to give you a sign that this is the one. In Gods beautiful makeup He allows us to choose. I'm just trying to find a friend that will go with me to church.

 

[Sideways]

I'm rooting for you Sonic:)

Things can often gain momentum of their own accord once we get the ball rolling. The volunteering that you mentioned in another thread may not lead directly to a friend to go with you to church, but there's a good chance it will help you regain your confidence around other people. A little bit of confidence goes a long way when it comes to making new friends.

Plenty of things to stay positive about and work towards at the moment. Don't give up on yourself- this sounds like times are changing for you in a good way:)

 

[sonicwhite]

Wulp, every time I help out. I do something around the house. I feel rewarded. It may of been I was in the pit of depression and the Prozac is really nipping it in the bud and I just feel rewarded. It's hard to explain when for years I have dragged myself to do thing and never felt good about it.


I suffer from Major depression. The doc that died on me knew that it was that. I'm not bipolar like my dad and I get my OCD from my mom. But these are things that will shape my character.


The therapist said just because you are on SSDI doesn't mean that you can't be what you set out to be. A preacher. One chosen by God not called. Many are called but few are chosen, I guess in the depression state you lose site of who you are in Christ.



When I first came to Christ I said God please bring me and my ex back together. The deceitful tone of churches will say if you believe you will recieve. I found out the hard way for two years I help onto that false teaching. I finally realized that me and her where never getting together.


This is when the crap hit the fan. I lost my self confidence. I sunk into a deep depression. I was have pure o OCD obsessive thoughts that where making me anxious. And a lot was happening to me.

I realize now what the heck happened. Now that the Prozac is pulling me out of the depression and my therapist is a accountability partner I have grown to feel good about doing things.


I still struggle with abusing gabapentin because it just boosts my self confidence but I'm going to have to go to some detox center to get off of this. It is too tempting. But, for the most part my life really is looking up and I'm glad I get to share my testimony with others so maybe it will show them there is more to life than all of this.