Will You Be Alone Christmas Or... ?

[Changing4Best]

I have as yet to hear the words, "Would you like to come over for Christmas?" or the like. I hate being alone on Christmas. I'm a widow who was never able to have children. So while everyone else is all excited that they will be with their grandkids or some other loved ones, I will be alone, I have a feeling.

I've been told that I am "lucky" because I don't have to spend it with a bunch of folks I can't stand being with. I've got a sort of maybe invitation that already fell through on Thanksgiving, so I am not holding my breath....

So I thought to ask the rest of you: Will you be with others on Christmas? Do you, in fact, want to be with others on this holiday? Or would you prefer being alone? What are your plans for this holiday, in other words?

And if you will be alone for this holiday, but would rather not be, what would your ideal Christmas be like? Or, even if you are facing a difficult Christmas with those you would rather not be with, what would your ideal Christmas be like?

 

[Ronin]

Being home, having fun, not thinking of violence interrupting my peace for a single day <fingers crossed I didn't jinx it>.

 

[Justmehere]

Have you told people point blank you will be alone and you wish you had a place to go?

I hate being alone. It took a lot of tries in telling folks I'm alone and I don't like it and I'd love I have someplace to go before people started to invite me.

I have been alone by default and been alone as a choice.

It wasn't the wois st thing to be alone by default but I would never say I was lucky.

I regret being alone as a choice. When I did have it with others, it was a little bittersweet at times, but worth the pain.

I try to find anyone else who is alone too and connect with them. That has helped too. I have volunteered many places... and one year, I found a restraint that was open and got a table and brought a book. It was weird, but for me, I needed it.

This year I spent thanksgiving watching movies all day, alone. It was a way to get through.

If you were close to me, I'd love to share the holiday with you. :hug:

 

[mamachick]

I am sorry SheilaKathy. I think it may be stressful either way I guess.

I have 3 children but will only be spending Christmas with one of them. When it comes down to the nuts and bolts, the other two can't accept the changes in me since TBI and PTSD. They accept flaws in others and themselves just fine, so it is hurtful. I have spent several holidays alone. I will be spending this one with 5 family members so its a small group. It isn't what I signed up for, but they live by the motto "I will never give you what you want or need" so I am glad in a way. (If one kid comes, another won't, and if they both come, the third won't-).

When I hear "you reap what you sew" I find that the worst lie in the world. Some of the most giving folks get trampled on the most.

I want to spend the holiday with them, so to answer you, yes.

 

[Changing4Best]

I posted a notice on Facebook that I would like somewhere to go on the holiday, or words to that effect. So far no one close by has responded, only folks from afar wishing they could be with me and will be alone too. I guess it is good to know that I am not alone in my aloneness anyway! @Justmehere.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Out of the last 25 years, I've spent maybe 15 alone. It's ok. At first it was very hard, I was so depressed through the holidays. A friend of mine used to have me spend Christmas with her and her 3 daughters, because my daughter was being her usually bitchy self. But for the past maybe 8 yrs, I've spent home alone. I actually enjoy it, it's a day off, and I can do whatever....

 

[sun seeker]

Most likely, I will be alone. No, I am not happy about it. I'd invite you over, but it would be a pretty long walk.

 

[Changing4Best]

I'm happy for you, @She Cat. I guess I don't like being home alone on holidays, because I miss my husband (who died in 2005) and I miss him more than I usually do on other regular days. Some days I don't think about missing him, but on holidays, I remember the good times we've had and I get sad if I am alone.

 

[Changing4Best]

Most likely, I will be alone. No, I am not happy about it. I'd invite you over, but it would be a...

I like walking! But you do have a point. ;)

 

[Friday]

If you don't want to be alone, instead of waiting for an invitation, why not invite others?

Or, same token, volunteer. Children's hospitals, regular hospitals, police, fire, foster kid group homes, homeless shelters, church outreach... Lots and lots of places look for holiday volunteers. In helping others not be alone, you're not alone yourself.

 

[Changing4Best]

@Friday There is a Nursing Home down the block from me, about a half a mile. I don't own a car though and my place is very small, so I cannot invite anyone over. No place to seat them for a meal! If the weather permits, and I get no invitation(s) I might try walking down to the Nursing Home to visit folks. I had thought of that already, but you see, my husband spent the last 3 years of his life in one, so I am not crazy about spending the holiday there, as I know it would bring back sad memories.

 

[Gadgie]

Over the years I've spent a few Christmases away from home, a few when I was in the Navy, or working offshore in the oil industry, or over seas, and a couple on duty in the ambulance service.

Out of all them the worst one ever was two years ago, I spent that one alone. My wife had passed away the month before, and all her family turned against me?

But this year, I am going to spend Christmas with my sister in Holland, like I did last year. I'm really looking forward to it, its funny how we tend to forget about all the bad ones, like we do with all our other bad experiences?