News Woody Allen Is Not A Monster. He Is A Person. Like My Father.

[Queen Boudica]

I think that both Dylan Farrow and the author are very brave to write their feelings after being exposed to such abuse.

I would not classify Woody Allen as normal. I think part of the problem is this man is seen as a God in Hollywood film culture, as was Michael Jackson and Jimmy Saville in their own fields. Their talent comes above their crime. I think that makes it even more difficult for people to accept that they could possibly do this. But they did and they should be punished.

If Woody Allen had seen justice all those years ago, no-one would be arguing about the awards he receives now and the films he is making now. Fact is it is a long time a coming but hopefully Dylan Farrows brave actions and the author will make people aware that it is not just the creepy guy next door. It is fathers, brothers, teachers, priests, and huge talented stars.

 

[Pencil]

I think that both Dylan Farrow and the author are very brave to write their feelings after being exposed to such abuse.

And knowingly risking further abuse.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Yes, that is the terrifying part, those who are brave and speak up are exposed to more abuse. But as a society we can only move forward if the brave keep being brave and speak up. They are heroes, this is a war and the more people who expose what is going on hopefully if they can save at least one child that is worth more than anyone who hurls abuse and puts them down. But still a very high price to pay.

 

[ms spock]

I lost my whole family and my whole life. Then because I brought to the attention of communities or kids disclosed to me I lost those communities yet again for speaking up about the abuse.

It is all so complicated.

 

[Pencil]

They are hidden in plain sight.

@Echo, the more I read your post the more I like it.

 

[Lost Pup]

And knowingly risking further abuse.

Exactly. Thank you.

 

[Pencil]

Been thinking ...

Usually when someone makes allegations of sexual abuse, the response is that the person is doing it to gain sympathy or to bask in attention / grab15 minutes of fame. Other reasons offered - such as that the person 'has ulterior motives' - but those motives usually remain shrouded in mystery of a sinister sort - so sinister that it is never made explicit. Perhaps these unsavory characters sign secret movie deals, who knows.

The reality is of course that the Dylan Farrows of the world get ZERO sympathy, the attention they get is like being sandpapered after sunburn, they gain notoriety that often lasts a lifetime, and as for ulterior motives - well, it remains a mystery.

But, ironically, this is perhaps the strongest argument FOR the veracity of the claim, and so I am rethinking my reaction to how 'unfair' it is. @Lizio, you are right, they are heroes - to risk it all for NOTHING, nothing but the truth. They pay an enormous price, and I think it is this price that actually keeps it free from nutcases who might invent a bullshit story about abuse in the hopes of gain. So, I think this is exactly what will contribute to the tipping point, and not impede it, as I originally thought.

The insistence that the person must be a lying nutcase who is doing it for sympathy and attention is exactly what gives the growing number of stories credibility. Although I hate what it does to the individuals, I love the irony.

 

[Lost Pup]

As someone who has periodically written publicly about my own history, I can say it is 1) very scary and 2) my sole motivation is to contribute to the larger collective voice of survivors in general. I've never seen any evidence to convince me that it is at all common for people to lie about sexual abuse anymore than anything. It is not as though we treat most personal narratives with the same skeptical lens that some treat survivor stories. I think its pretty sick that such stories are subjected to a special treatment.

 

[Pencil]

@Lost Pup - it is because the stakes are so high = which is once again ironic. I agree with you - and as this is a site for ptsd one would not expect it to reflect society at large, yet the responses here are representative.

I've never seen any evidence to convince me that it is at all common for people to lie about sexual abuse

Agreed, for reasons given above, and I wonder why that remains a popular misconception.

 

[Lost Pup]

I think the further and greatest irony is that those survivors who do exactly what the larger society condones by banishing their own sexual abuse from consciousness and never speaking of it are the ones who are most often attacked and maligned. It is when we *do* dissociate and try to pretend to ourselves that nothing happened that everything goes haywire. Perhaps this is precisely why "repressed memories" (though I think that phrase not as good as "memories that have been disowned by one's sense of self and so transformed in such a way that they live on only through continued, dilapidating physical reactivity and projective re-enactment") are so triggering for the rest of society, because, when they do come to light, they trigger the rest of society to similarly experience some semblance of the failure of our larger, collective ability to dissociate from horror, injustice, genocide, etc. IOW they force everyone to remember what they have tried to forget and so are deeply destabilizing far beyond those who vocalize them.

 

[Pencil]

Yes.

And this leads me to the question: Why is there the universal tendency to blame the victim? This is one in a series of related questions that I have no answer to.

 

[Echo]

@Pencil - I think there is such a strong need in people to make themselves safe by making themselves different in their minds from victims/survivors. If we look at rape, the idea that it can happen to anyone, anywhere, even in the home, is abhorrent and very frightening to people, albeit the truth. People need to believe this cannot be so, so they choose largely to believe that it happens to people who are 'stupid enough' to walk down unlit alleyways, drink too much, wear revealing clothing, etc., etc. The same with child abuse, hence the campaign about 'stranger danger', which entirely misses the far higher likelihood that abuse happens in the home and is perpetrated by Daddy, the supposed protector of the family realm. If they blame the victim, they are in a sense placing themselves in another 'space' where such things can't happen.

It is a big act of collective denial. We are all small, furry creatures at heart, who need to feel safe somewhere, and our homes are the places where most people get to feel safe. Tell them that rape and child abuse is prevalent there, and they just don't want their worlds rocked and the massive stigma that destroys lives to touch them, so stick they their fingers in their ears and sing, "la, la, la."

All of these celebrity stories currently in the press at the moment help to bring things to light in one sense, but they also belong to a world most of us don't inhabit, so again allow people to think, it happens to other people elsewhere. I guess many people think Dylan Farrow is very privileged, in that she is surrounded by wealth and ease, and they are envious of that.

And then there is the issue of people having no idea what it actually does to someone when they are raped or abused. Many people think the past is the past, let sleeping dogs lie and why don't you just put in behind you? Talking about it must mean you want revenge or to jump on some sort of bandwagon, maybe even to make money out of it by talking to the press or selling your book or appearing on television.

I am sure there are many other reasons, but let's keep speaking our truths and supporting those who are also brave enough to do so before us.