Work therapist shocked at current t behaviour

[Cleo6]

At work we have to see a therapist for an hour every other month. Yesterday I saw her for the first time and we were talking about counselling and I told her about the therapist I'm seeing and she said she was shocked and horrified at the stuff that my therapist has been doing and stuff she's said. I left feeling all confused and hurting. I was meant to of met up with a friend after work but she cancelled so just stayed at home trying to process everything she told me. I saw my therapist on friday and im not seeing her again now until 15th Sept. I've deleted all the photos I had of her screenshot on my phone and I was recording our sessions and re listening to them to feel close to her between sessions and also as I use to walk out of session sometimes not remembering large chunks and I was worried about what I was saying unknown. I feel like a proper stalker admitting that. I've also blocked her from Facebook so I can't give in to the urge to see if she's changed any of her pictures. I'm hoping with this long break and cutting these links from her come next session I can just text her and tell her I'm not coming back

 

[watundah]

What sort of things are suppos3dly inappropriate? Do you feel she was helping yoh?

 

[Cleo6]

She was giving me gifts for my kids, telling me she loved me, talking to me about her family and any good or bad things relating 5o them or her friends. She would ask me questions about how I feel about something but then would also answer it in the same breath so I couldn't answer it. She totally minimised things i have gone through so I didn't feel able to bring it up to talk about. She also use to give me a disapproving look when I would try and bring up certain topics so I would avoid it and then there were other topics if I tried to bring up she would just focus on some other part of the story and not what I needed to talk about. There's other stuff aswell

 

[Friday]

At work we have to see a therapist for an hour every other month. Yesterday I saw her for the first time and we were talking about counselling and I told her about the therapist I'm seeing and she said she was shocked and horrified at the stuff that my therapist has been doing and stuff she's said.

Yep. Agreed. The things your other T has been doing are things to be properly shocked and horrified at.

 

[Cleo6]

I just need to detach from her. It's so hard but I think deleting all that stuff will help and not seeing her for about 7 weeks I think will hopefully make me stronger

 

[Deleted member 8714]

Hi @Cleo6
I'm sorry you've found out that your therapist's behavior was not professional. It's tough to hear that. I've experienced that as well.

On a website called GoodTherapy.org you can read the difference between good and bad therapy. There are 50 signs on each page.

Number 14 of 50 Signs of Bad Therapy states: Counselor tries to be your friend. That definitely sounds like some of what's going on with your therapist and you. You'll probably be able to relate to more than number 14.

On the website they list a Professional Code of Ethics. I realize this is for the US. You might be able to find something for the United Kingdom online as well. I just finished a minor search on Google for that and here's a few I found. Minor meaning I'm an avid researcher so this is skimming the top.

BACP, who states they have a new Ethical Framework for the Counselling Professions
British Psychological Society (It's a PDF link.)
The National Counselling Society
UK Council for Psychotherapy Ethical Principles and Code of Professional Conduct (It's a PDF link.)
https://www.nationalcounsellingsociety.org/about-us/code-of-ethics/
There are different ways to handle unprofessional conduct by a therapist. I confronted my therapist. The number of clients who do so is quite low probably because of not wanting to deal with a therapist's reaction to being confronted. My therapist's reaction told me she wasn't a healthy therapist. She defended everything I pointed out. I quit right there on the spot. The other option is to file a complaint. Of course these are all personal choices. Though if the therapist is violating professional boundaries it would be nice if their licensing board knew about it or the group they work for because then other clients wouldn't be exposed to the same abuse of power. On the National Counselling Society's website there's a place to file a complaint against a therapist.

Of course the other way is to just stop seeing the therapist.

 

[watundah]

I know how hard it is to quit your therapist but you aren't paying to hear about her problems, family, or to let her set your agenda. Best to find someone else and let this one go. There are much better therapists for you. You are on the right track. Good luck

 

[UnicornSightings]

I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how surprised and disappointed you must be. Not to mention how it feels to have to detach from someone that means a lot to you. 7 weeks is a good amount of time. If you have any hobbies or things you've wanted to do but haven't this would be a really good time for that. Learn new things, create things, focus on things that make you feel good. I wish you the best of luck. Don't hesitate to reach out for support from someone else.