Working On Abandonment

[angie]

Hi, I'm new. I was diagnosed with PTSD almost twenty years ago, and did a lot of work to get better and also to learn to how manage the condition. I've gotten way better and had more of a life than I ever dreamed was possible. I'm high maintenance in terms of what I need to do on a daily basis, and I'm self-employed because that's what I could handle and I don't make much money. But I've been able to build a life.

Lately one category of triggers has gotten worse for me, related to abandonment. So I'm now working on that. There is a lot of new info about PTSD! There are even a bunch of sites that discuss PTSD and abandonment trauma and triggers specifically, but they are usually about selling some particular kind of therapy. I was glad to find this forum. I'm not a veteran but am married to one, and it seems that every post either speaks to me or to him.

 

[amethist]

Hi angie

Welcome to the forum.

There a few members on this forum who will understand what you are going through with abandonment issues. I am sure they will help and support you in any way they can.

We are all about help and support here not selling therapies at all, some say we are the therapy.

Take care and good luck.

Amethist

 

[angie]

Thank you Amethist and thank you for helping me capitalize the thread title properly.

 

[Freddy_hiding_less]

Hallo angie!

Welcome to the forum. I'm a still not formally diagnosed recoverer from a nonviolent but emotionally very poor childhood. For me healthy personal relations is the main issue. I hope you find something helpful here!

 

[sigh]

Hi :)
Abandonment is a big issue for me as well. I am constantly waiting to find myself homeless or worse. I never believe people around me when they say that they are there for me. It just doesn't make sense with all the abuse I've suffered. If they're there for me now, where were they then??!! The one person who really took care of me died a few years back, and it's just all I can do to keep his picture overlooking the living room as if he were watching over me. I think he is.

I have to believe my boyfriend won't abandon me. He's shown no signs of it. When I've had really hard times, he's always been there at the end of the day. I've always been there for him. We're trying to keep our relationship sane. I must just *believe*...

S.

 

[angie]

I have to believe my boyfriend won't abandon me. He's shown no signs of it. When I've had really hard times, he's always been there at the end of the day. I've always been there for him. We're trying to keep our relationship sane. I must just *believe*...

S.

Thanks Sigh for sharing that. I'm worn out with the just believing, and trying not to trash my relationship. The PTSD is telling me the end is inevitable and will happen when I am most fragile, so I might as well end things myself. I wear myself out arguing with that worldview.

I was in denial I guess about having this particular problem. I didn't think the abandonments I had experienced amounted to all that much, if I'm honest I still don't get how it adds up to enough to put me in this mess. I guess it recombined with some bad stuff that happened in the last ten years. I've got fibro/cmp and have basically been fine for years, but now having a flare... being triggered it is so physically stressful, usually depression follows once the panic and the fibro lifts.

In the past when I was supporting friends who had abandonment issues and were coping with despondency and suicidality after getting triggered, I always thought "oh thank goodness I didn't get this one." And now it's clear I've got it. Well, I've had healing in other areas so it will probably happen here too as I work for it.

 

[Dragonfly]

Angie,

Know your not alone. I also have abandonment issues, and have for many, many years.