Hello,
I am a 61 year old woman. As a small child I was physically and psychologically abused by my father - a WWII and Korean War vet. He had physical and emotional injuries, and eventually died from the physical effects at age 74. My parents were divorced when I was very young. My mother remarried to another WWII vet who also had the physical/emotional injuries. He was in and out of VA hospitals. He was drug/alcohol addicted. He also abused me physically, emotionally and sexually.
When a teenager, I decided to get out of my mess of a family and made a life for myself. I have a master's degree and have been professionally employed all of my life. As many survivors of abuse do, I packed up the trauma and stashed it away. I practiced avoidance of anything to do with veteran's, military, etc.
I work in hospice. Hospice does some work with veteran's, but I'm on the admin side of things. Last week my boss called a meeting because she had been to a conference on veteran's issues. She gave us a veteran's website to look at before the meeting. I looked at the website and basically it freaked me out reading about veteran's with PTSD, etc. I sent my boss an email telling her in general terms about father/stepfather and that I felt I could not attend the meeting. She wrote back with a rather vague response, indicating I had to go to the meeting. I asked her to please clarify, and she told me she expected me at the meeting.
About 10 minute into the meeting, she started talking about how some people grew up in military families, but she didn't. She then spoke about her experience with vets with PTSD in emergency rooms. She then asked me about local community groups working with vets. This has nothing to do with my job or my life. I told her I knew nothing about anything to do with vets. I was shaking badly at this point and she told me to leave the meeting. As soon as I stepped out of the meeting I had a complete meltdown and ended up in the ladies room, on the floor, sobbing. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before at work or anywhere else, since childhood.
A coworker helped me and she was so upset by what happened she went to HR. HR was kind and apparently talked to my boss. My boss followed up with me by telling me I should not have sent her an email about this - although she has created a culture of communicating with us only by email. She turned it all around and made it my fault. She told me other people had stress and triggers and have to deal with it. The next day, we had our regular meeting and she told me that she wasn't firing me, but I should look for another job. My performance evals have always been good. My boss had issues with all the other managers, and vice presidents throughout the organization. She is basically disliked by everyone.
So, here I am at 61 looking for another job in this terrible economy. I'm going to find a therapist, but that means I will be on the hook for all the co-pays. I seriously thinking about finding an attorney, but don't know if I should.
Right now, I'm just looking for a bit of support and validation. My son, sister (much younger) and friends don't know about my history or this event, so I can't turn to them.
Thank you!
Spucky
I am a 61 year old woman. As a small child I was physically and psychologically abused by my father - a WWII and Korean War vet. He had physical and emotional injuries, and eventually died from the physical effects at age 74. My parents were divorced when I was very young. My mother remarried to another WWII vet who also had the physical/emotional injuries. He was in and out of VA hospitals. He was drug/alcohol addicted. He also abused me physically, emotionally and sexually.
When a teenager, I decided to get out of my mess of a family and made a life for myself. I have a master's degree and have been professionally employed all of my life. As many survivors of abuse do, I packed up the trauma and stashed it away. I practiced avoidance of anything to do with veteran's, military, etc.
I work in hospice. Hospice does some work with veteran's, but I'm on the admin side of things. Last week my boss called a meeting because she had been to a conference on veteran's issues. She gave us a veteran's website to look at before the meeting. I looked at the website and basically it freaked me out reading about veteran's with PTSD, etc. I sent my boss an email telling her in general terms about father/stepfather and that I felt I could not attend the meeting. She wrote back with a rather vague response, indicating I had to go to the meeting. I asked her to please clarify, and she told me she expected me at the meeting.
About 10 minute into the meeting, she started talking about how some people grew up in military families, but she didn't. She then spoke about her experience with vets with PTSD in emergency rooms. She then asked me about local community groups working with vets. This has nothing to do with my job or my life. I told her I knew nothing about anything to do with vets. I was shaking badly at this point and she told me to leave the meeting. As soon as I stepped out of the meeting I had a complete meltdown and ended up in the ladies room, on the floor, sobbing. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before at work or anywhere else, since childhood.
A coworker helped me and she was so upset by what happened she went to HR. HR was kind and apparently talked to my boss. My boss followed up with me by telling me I should not have sent her an email about this - although she has created a culture of communicating with us only by email. She turned it all around and made it my fault. She told me other people had stress and triggers and have to deal with it. The next day, we had our regular meeting and she told me that she wasn't firing me, but I should look for another job. My performance evals have always been good. My boss had issues with all the other managers, and vice presidents throughout the organization. She is basically disliked by everyone.
So, here I am at 61 looking for another job in this terrible economy. I'm going to find a therapist, but that means I will be on the hook for all the co-pays. I seriously thinking about finding an attorney, but don't know if I should.
Right now, I'm just looking for a bit of support and validation. My son, sister (much younger) and friends don't know about my history or this event, so I can't turn to them.
Thank you!
Spucky
