Would This Be Classed As Trauma?

[DrummingSongXx]

I have been through a lot of rejection in my life and I am just a 19-year old girl. My 40-year old married half-brother used to have sex with me when I was just 15-years old and because I felt so used and worthless by him I told the police that he raped me. I dropped the charges the following day (my mum was concerned, she told me that he actually DID rape me, she said it was statutory rape) and he was arrested, but I dropped the charges the following day.

I only have one friend and she is my rock. I dropped out of school when I was just 15 years-old because I was getting severely bullied. I never even got to sit my GCSEs and I lost contact with the very few friends that I did have because I developed social anxiety (because of the bullying). Then last year, something completely world-shattering happened! I started getting bullied... by the in-laws of my half-brother (they don't know that he used to have sex with me when I was just 15-years old but they know that we fell out)!

My half-brother's inlaws are of the travelling community so they are not the kind of people anyone would want to get on the wrong side of. They would call me fat and ugly, a slut, a slag, they would call me every name under the sun and these people don't even know me! I did join college last year and I was going to a Catering class but I didn't enjoy it at all! Every day I kept getting flashbacks of the bullying, the horrific things that they said about me, my half-brother having sex with me, etc. Would all that I have been through be classed as trauma because I can barely get tasks done throughout the day because I keep thinking about everything bad that's happened to me.

I know that my half-brother treated me like rubbish but because he was the first man that I slept with I did fall in love with him. I think about him everyday and I love him but I hate what he did to me. How do I cope with all these problems? Will my suffering on this planet ever end? How and when! Just when!

 

[Abstract]

Yes that is trauma and what he did was illegal and abusive. None of it was your fault. Emotional abuse can be harmful as well and I am starting to suspect that we are especially susceptible if we are already traumatised. That even if verbal bullying does not include death threats it can go deep.

I truly hope you reach out for the treatment that you need and deserve and I am sorry that you experienced all this and dealing with the consequences now.

 

[WillyKat]

Yes. Rape, statutory or otherwise is still rape. And even bullying can be traumatic.

The purpose of the forum is mutual support among sufferers and their supporters. In that capacity, it's a great place. But it's not a substitute for having a good therapist.

Are you seeing a therapist / counsellor / psychologist / mental health professional? Do you have a diagnosis of PTSD? If not, I urge you to look into seeing one and getting an accurate diagnosis.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[rockyspine]

Hi there. I'm so sorry all this has happened to you, hun. My first few years navigating recovery were definitely rough and I didn't know where to begin, just that I wanted to get better. So you will get there too, just takes time and some hard work to realize that it was NOT your fault in any way. Even if you developed feelings afterwards, that is not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you. The only thing wrong is your half-brother for doing that to you, and all the people bullying you. They are the ones who should feel ashamed.

I think what the others said about reaching out for professional help is a great idea. It can really help you get going and even if you decide it's not for you, can give you someplace to start to learn to heal and tools to live life.

Also this forum has some great posts to help too, so look around here. It has really helped me.

Good luck in your recovery.

 

[ggsparky]

I don't know. I think bullying is terrible. I think that you need counceling for it....

 

[BloomInWinter]

Yes, what you have is more than enough to develop PTSD.

No 40 year old man "has sex with" a 15 year old girl. That is a common victim-blaming statement our culture uses, but it is legally inaccurate.

What you are describing rape and incest. He was 100% wrong, you are 100% innocent.

Please don't let anyone dump the responsibility for his sick, criminal behavior on you. He should be in prison for life.

Are you seeing a counselor?