Would you consider working with a t from the same practice?

[FauxLiz]

I am moving soon due to work relocation and have been discussing with my current T the challenges I am having finding a potential new T. For me I have three deal breaking criteria when looking, they must be male (I have issues when dealing with females where I feel there is a power differential), must have completed doctoral level studies (sorry folks I don't ask a nurse to diagnose and treat my cardiac issues I don't want someone that wasn't willing to do the schooling treating my behavioral health issues), they need to have consistent availability in the evenings (I will most likely be traveling a minimum of 90 to see this person I can't leave work early or arrive late consistently like that without arousing suspicion).

So far the biggest barrier is the consistent evening availability. Everyone I have initially reached out to either is booked for all their evening availability or it would be inconsistent, days and or times changing frequently.

So at my last session my current T (practice owner) mentioned that his right hand man will be moving to the area where I am looking due to his wife accepting a position in that area that was too good to pass up. My T wanted to know if I would be willing to consider this T who is going to be moving about a month after I do and will be part of a major behavioral health group in the new area.

My gut instinct is yes, he meets all three of my deal breaker criteria, since he will be new arranging consistent day and time shouldnt be an issue either. But then I started thinking about it. How much could this T possibly know about me already from collaborative discussions within the practice for treatment options and alternatives? I am not saying I think my T has broken privilege but if I were to begin discussing things with this new T that sounded familiar to things he had heard in their collaboration sessions would that be awkward for both of us?

Am I overthinking this? It would be very similar to transfering to another T in the same practice just not quite. What would any of you do in this situation? I am leaning toward at least giving it a try after all what could it hurt?

 

[Muttly]

I don't see a problem with it. You might be over thinking this. I don't believe it would be awkward for that T if something came up that he recognized, because collaborative discussion between the T's is just professional behavior. Hopefully that sentence makes sense. My brain isn't working great. If you start with a new T, would you be allowing your old T to share records? If so, how would this be different?

 

[IllogicalBulwark]

I am not sure how that would be awkward? Having a T who already knows about things would make it easier to transition, wouldn't it? Then you may not have to go through so much of that initial "Get to know me" phase. Unless there are things that you wish to discuss with the new T that the old T did not know about or you did not feel comfortable discussing? In my experience any new T's usually have to or want to look over your file to get an idea of who they are getting ready to help. Are you having your treatment records sent to the new T? If so, then they would also get the information that you may consider awkward. But again, I would think that would make it easier. Maybe I am not understanding something. **shrugs**

 

[Friday]

How much could this T possibly know about me already from collaborative discussions within the practice for treatment options and alternatives? I am not saying I think my T has broken privilege but if I were to begin discussing things with this new T that sounded familiar to things he had heard in their collaboration sessions would that be awkward for both of us?

Was it awkward for you at River Oaks where staff shared info?

 

[FauxLiz]

@Muttly I would be allowing the records to be shared but not immediately. The idea being that I want to ensure that we establish a therapeutic connection before I throw everything at him. @IllogicalBulwark there isn't anything that I would be discussing that my current T is not at least aware just that we haven't spent a lot of time working on it. @Friday it was awkward for me at River Oaks to have the staff sharing information. Part of the conditioning that I have from my FOO is intense privacy generally speaking in my family if they knew the things I have discussed in therapy and at River Oaks it would qualify for being disowned and cutoff from everyone. Sort of the what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas only What happens within the family stays in the family. It is part of what makes this idea both terrifying yet almost a relief because there are things I might not have to feel so guilty and ashamed of discussing.

 

[Friday]

That makes sense why you’re worried, then.

It won’t be awkward for HIM, as others have said, it’s part of the job.

But it might actually be a cool opportunity to work through FOO secret stuff, for you.

 

[Suzetig]

It might be an idea to ask your current T how much she has shared about you in collegiate discussions and whether sharing would have been in an anonymised “I’m seeing someone who...” rather than “I’m seeing fauxliz who is...”. Your T may be suggesting this person in the knowledge that she hasn’t used him for support with your case, or because she has and feels he has good experience to bring to the work.

I would also very early on discuss your concerns with new T, and agree what he’ll do if he does recognise some of your story from collegiate conversations. Would you want him to tell you he knew, have him listen to what you want to say about whatever and no tell you he knew? If you go into it with a good sense of what you need re boundaries, you may find you’ll do fine.

Mind you, if this is the T you were planning to give feedback to after ending, I probably wouldn’t start seeing his colleague.

 

[FauxLiz]

@Suzetig I have decided against the feedback after ending. We have done good work together and if I were to relocate back to this area I would seriously consider working with him again and don't want anything to be awkward if that happened.

I do like your idea of asking what if anything might have been shared so there are no surprises.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think your opinion is a bit snobbish.

Not willing to do the schooling? Not everyone is so privileged as to be able to get a PhD.

I understand only wanting the best, but your use of the word “willing” indicates that you’re looking down on those who didn’t go to the doctorate level in their schooling

And given that you’re moving to BBFE, you may want to relax your standards. There are many excellent therapists out there who do not have their doctorate. I think this attitude may hinder you and not help you.

 

[FauxLiz]

@EveHarrington i respect your opinion and realize that others may not feel the same.

If for some reason I am not able to find someone that meets my criteria I will reconsider but at this time I am not ready to take that step.

 

[LuckiLee]

Can you meet the new T first? Before you both move? And I think asking your current T what, if anything he may have shared with new T is an easy way to calm your thoughts about it.

Good luck with your move!

 

[FauxLiz]

@LuckiLee that remains to be seen. I see my current T on Friday and I know they will have had a conversation on how he can get referrals at his new practice. Right now finding a therapist is getting pushed to a back burner status. I have to be out of my current house on Saturday and I have been attempting to find a place in the new location but I have lost three because I am not their to hand over the deposit immediately and have been looking at places in all three surrounding counties with no luck. So under the hierarchy of needs right now housing/shelter is no. 1