Wtf Triggers Me

[sonicwhite]

Cannibas makes me feel like I'm going thru a bad acid trip. And they are saying MDMA helps PTSD/ I went thru a bad roll of xtc. tried to kill myself.......A lot happen in a hour that I wont go into detail. If the mdma is made by like a pill compant it will probably be a lot safer then crap thats made in someones lab. I'm really intersted in it but I still have doubts and i'm scared that it will make me worse. I haven't rolled in ten years. no way am I going back to that.

 

[Justmehere]

My therapist is friends with a lead researcher for the MDMA trials that are leading to some people saying MDMA has potential to help.

It is absolutely nothing like the street version of the drug, and the drug is given while doing two full days of therapy, all day both days.

The evidence as to if it helps or not is quite mixed.

Plus, like all drugs, what helps one person may backfire and cause the opposite effect in another.

I hope they will find something to easily cure for PTSD, but until then, I'm gonna keep doing everything else that I can to get better.

 

[joeylittle]

It is absolutely nothing like the street version of the drug, and the drug is given while doing two full days of therapy, all day both days.

I just want to emphasize this - MDMA for PTSD is used with intensive trauma therapy - its not that you just take the drug. They think that the MDMA makes it possible for a person to talk about (and therefore work through) experiences that would normally be too challenging, emotionally. So, it's as a support for trauma therapy, specifically.

 

[sonicwhite]

I'm going to Colorado to get some good bud and try it out. The weed that I tried with friends always threw me into a panic attack. I want to find a bud that suits me and I believe there is some I just have to look.

 

[Justmehere]

Sadly, Colorado does not have a marijuana-based solution to PTSD. I have looked into it myself.

For some people, weed helps them relax.

For some people, weed makes them anxious, panicky, and can even push them into psychosis and really dangerous stuff. If one strain makes you anxious then you can count on other strains making you anxious, and possibly even psychotic.

This is true with all medications and substances - the same drug can work one way for one person and in someone else, it can have the exact opposite effect.

This is why medicating PTSD is most effective when done with the help of a doctor.

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm a bit concerned after reading a number of your posts.

It seems like you jump from drug to drug looking for a solution but the truth is that true healing doesn't really happen with drugs/medications.

I honestly think that you need to get clean first and see what your true symptoms are. As it stands you're taking drugs that can mess with your body so nobody can tell you if your symptoms are due to using these drugs (although they may be legal) or if they're due to PTSD.

I understand that you want to heal, but I think that first and foremost you need to address your drug use. Until you're clean-----totally clean, it's anyone's guess as to whether or not your symptoms are PTSD or not (or PTSD based and amplified by drug use).

This is a Ben Franklin quote-----God helps those who help themselves. I think that if you want God's help then you must do some of the heavy lifting. In another thread you mentioned something about thinking your life would be great once you became a Christian but later realized this didn't happen. If you want to get better, I think you should consider that you're possibly looking for the easy way out with all this drug experimentation.

Have you searched for support groups online that are substance abuse based? I can't help but feel that here your substance use issues are a side note and that doesn't really help you in the end because you're focused so much on PTSD and not the substance use.

 

[sonicwhite]

No offence but all I see here is being critical because i want to treat myself with drugs. I mean WHTHECK. Yes Im a christian but I believe if something helps you are able to do it. Please just see it from my perspective and don't throw stones at me.

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm not trying to be critical and I'm not throwing stones at you. I'm concerned about your substance use, that is all. Until you can see your substance use for what it is, I don't think you're healing will progress far.

Chances are that MDMA trials for PTSD won't take you given the other drugs in your system, and street MDMA isn't the same. If you are interested in pharmaceutical grade MDMA, I believe you'll have to get clean.

I've seen a lot of posts on the forum about using drugs to treat PTSD. I'm not criticizing drug use. What I am questioning is your methodology. Throwing drugs into your body randomly isn't going to do you much good. Drug interactions can cause a lot of damage. If you want to try something new, get off the current drugs that could be doing you harm before venturing into something new.

There's gotta be a method to it all if you want the best chances of success.

 

[Justmehere]

Sonic, I don't think anyone is throwing any stones at you at all. I care about you and I don't judge you at all. I get that you really need some relief from your symptoms.

I am concerned because I know you have worked so hard in the past to quit other substances, and I have seen you improve quite a bit. In the last few weeks, it has become hard to know what you are trying to communicate again. To see you now turn back to drugs is concerning. It doesn't seem like it has worked for you so far, and has only brought new problems into your life.

You absolutely can keep using whatever to medicate yourself.

Just because someone can do something, it doesn't mean it will help you live the life you want to live. I'm not against drugs or medication either, and I hope you consider working with a doctor to find the best way to get some relief without the risk of further decline or even possible psychosis, and not to mention possible jail time. People will travel to Colorado to try weed for mental health symptoms without a doctor's supervision and they end up in jail because they did something totally out of character and whack even on legal weed.

Jail isn't going to make your symptoms any better, and that's one many possible outcomes that you are risking by self-medicating.

 

[sonicwhite]

Thank you al for the concern. I'm just crap I don't know what to do. I have been hurting for four and half years. suicidle thinking has just come up. I'm just sick of this. I'm seriously tired of hurting. It's too much. I can't live life this I really can't. So I want to explore other avenues but the thing is pot makes me anxious, even with a benzo. So if there is a right strain that can help me I will consider doing that for now on. If one type of pot is anxiety provoking maybe they all are. I don't know. I'm hurting so bad.

 

[sonicwhite]

Ok, from my older brothers perspective he said it was a very bad idea. He smoked high grade and would get paranoid.That would likely happen to me. Wulp its just me, the therapist and the pdoc. Please pray that God will move in such a way that I will get some closure from my past trauma. Thank you all for being there and showing me the right direction. I will admit I make mistakes often and I am and was wrong.

 

[mary1979]

I hear ya sonic.
Drugs aren't the solution (either prescription or illegal if you ask me, at least not in the long term)

But they can sure take the edge off.

If one type of weed messes with your head, its likely they all will.
Though there is a slight difference between hydroponically grown and outdoor.
Hydro tends to be flushed with chemicals so if that's all you have tried, it could be worth giving some outdoor a go, but don't hold your breath.
If it makes you paranoid, especially avoid it.
I found it useful as a relaxant while struggling with anger management in my early 20's when my stress cup was overflowing. My psych supported it.
But its habit forming.

Other drugs, I haven't had a lot of experience with, but watching mates? Shit can fry you brain. None of it should be used daily, your body needs to heal in between. Seasoned users advise at least a week, and don't mix your drugs.
Acid was the worst, my friends that did that, they never got their brain cells back.

I think some people without addictive natures can dabble a little for fun though.
If you are sensible.


I had one experience with a heavy drug, and it actually opened me up to myself.
It was like it peeled away my outer defensive layers that id been hiding behind and I could finally see myself clearer.
I could identify my failings, things I hid behind my ego. I stopped feeling hypersensitive to criticism and could see when someone was trying to help me instead of taking anything said so personally that I wouldn't accept it.
I still cant quite believe it helped me so much, but 3 months later, and my walls only return slightly, and I can see it and stop myself a lot better.

For 37 yrs I said id never do hard drugs, and I probably never will again. But I am glad I had the experience because it made me seek help I desperately needed.

My opinion here is probably controversial, and maybe totally incorrect for anyone else.
Sorry if that's the case guys, but to each their own.

Take care of you sonic, too much of any 'good' thing will f*ck you.
6 years drinking showed me that (I kinda reckon that stuff.should be illegal!!)